Saturday, October 27, 2012

Losing my mind

Pregnancy brain, fact or fiction? FACT!!!!

I have become a complete ditz. Like really, so far this week I've gone the wrong way in our building coming out of the bathroom, gotten out of the car with the keys still in the ignition, every time I go to the doctor I have to pee in a cup- this week went straight into the bathroom, sat down peed, walked right out without ever looking at the cup, forgot to take my vitamins twice. I did something else that I can't remember and Jay looked at me like I had lost my mind. It has to be all of the things swirling around in my head between baby stuff, work, home, etc. My co-workers think its hilarious.

I got her bedding already, it's very simple but sweet. I would post a picture but it is monogrammed so that's not happening. It's the Harper bedding from Pottery Barn, in chocolate brown. I think you have to go under the boy's section to see the chocolate brown, but it doesn't look masculine at all. The sheet is brown and white polka dot.

My friend is insisting on this shower thing. Jay is upset because she picked the same day as the LSU/Ole Miss game but he can just get over it. If I have to go to this thing, he does too. I've made a lot of concessions over the last 15 years for football, mainly this past year with the anniversary thing, he can sacrifice one game for a freakin baby shower. I've got almost everything I need to start off, just missing a few things. On the breastfeeding stuff, I just made my best guess because I'm clueless. I made two lists one on BuyBuyBaby and one on Amazon, but the Amazon one is just fun stuff like books/movies and toys and it's under my maiden name.

Still deciding on her middle name. I've narrowed it down to 2. Can't decide which one I like better.

In medical news:

Had my first "weekly" visit this week. This week was for a non-stress test. They basically hooked me up to a monitor to chart her heartbeat and I had to push a button every time I hear her move. Of course, my child would be sitting really deep and I had to press the monitor into my stomach for 30 mins. My arm was so sore. But even with that it was still kind of relaxing and reassuring to sit and listen to her heart go for 30 mins though, you could hear her moving too. Got a flu shot too, so I should be good there. My mom wants Jay to go get the whooping cough shot, I don't think I can get it but she said he needs to because it's so dangerous for babies to get that.

I also had an appointment with the dietician. I've lost 3 lbs in one week. No one seemed to be concerned, so I guess that's okay. That puts me at 4 for the total pregnancy and she weighs about 4, so not sure how that works out.

My blood sugar numbers have been okay. This last week has been very very frustrating, I seem to have taken a turn for the worse. The supper numbers and some of the other numbers were just completely out of whack. I had a ham and cheese panini, which literally consisted of two pieces of whole grain bread, 4 oz's of ham and a piece of american cheese. NOTHING ELSE, and my blood sugar was 143. That's the highest it's been. The other 3 nights were just as baffling.  I ate things I've eaten since I got this and the numbers were much higher. The dietician was scratching her head too.

After we talked about it, I realized that this last week has been what is called "month end" at work. We had to have our loans done by Thursday for them to count. And right now we are having to do everything to get them done, no one else is helping. It's extremely stressful, and I'm sure I make it more so because I put so much pressure on myself. We deduced that this has to be what is going on. I can't believe stress would raise your blood sugar 40 points, but the dietician says it most certainly could. So now, I have to do some light exercise after my meal if I'm under a lot of stress, which when am I not? It's easy for someone to say just stop stressing and worrying but it's what I do, it's what I've always done, it's just who I am. I don't know how to be any different.

I think I'm going to end up on insulin. The doctor asked me how I felt about it, so I think he's trying to ease me into the idea. I told him I didn't want to do it but obviously if I need it I certainly will. It's only for a little while. I can do anything for a little while. I'm pretty sure he's going to do this on my next visit on Thursday, especially after he sees my numbers of this last week and weekend. I didn't take them to him this week so he was talking about insulin before seeing how bad they've gotten. I get an ultrasound on Thursday so she's being monitored very closely :)

That's all I know. Still working on the house. It feels so industrial, I'm trying to figure out how to make it look more comfortable. I'm sure it's just going to take some time.

Saturday, October 20, 2012

The Realness

Well everything just got really real this week. Only have 8 and 1/2 weeks to go.

Got the 4D ultrasound done. Baby Hawk is beautiful. She looks like her Dad to me but she's still got 2 more months to cook so you never know. Jay and I are kind of similar anyway, as his Mom pointed out. I can't believe that that little thing is swimming around in there. I can feel her moving around a good bit more now, she must sleep a lot though because she only does around eating time.

Speaking of eating time. I now have to eat 6 small meals a day, write everything down and take my blood sugar 4 times a day. It's not too bad. I am, or I thought I was, doing really well until the doctor told me otherwise. The dietitian said that I needed to keep my blood sugar under 120, I was doing really well. The doctor wants me to keep it below 105! I don't think non-diabetics can keep this number. My 7 day average has been 107, so I guess it's attainable. I've made a few mis-steps in the last week. The worst was going to the greek restaurant, the guy assured me it was a wheat pita but it was NOT. My reading was 135 after that lunch. I won't be eating greek anymore.

We also got all moved in. I feel like I'm living in a hotel. We need rugs and lots of them and we need to hang curtains and pictures.  It also still smells like fresh paint so it feels like we don't live here.

We also ordered the nursery furniture today and crib bedding. I'm really nervous now because we should have done it earlier. They said it would take 8-10 weeks to be delivered (the furniture, at least), which means I won't have time to set up it up before I have her. I guess there are worse things in the world but I really wanted everything to be done. Her crib bedding is going to be really simple, it's just white and chocolate brown. The room is beige and brown it was the only thing that was going to work that we agreed on.

I really really do have a dilema though. My friend at work is INSISTING on giving me a shower at her house. I do not want one, period. Number one, because I literally go to work and home, I don't know anyone outside of those two places. This is going to be the most pathetic shower ever, like 3 people are going to be there. (I'm not exaggerating, really I'm not. Can you hire friends?)  I tried to tell her this and actually begged her but she won't listen. Number two, I really don't get into girlie things like "baby games", etc. It's just not my style. Number three, I don't really like being the center of attention. Geez, it's stressing me out. I'm going to have to tell her that she's causing me more stress and it's doing more harm than good. I appreciate her wanting to do something nice, I really do, but it's too stressful.

And finally, last but not least. The doctor says he's going to try to take me to 39 weeks. So to pencil in December 18th if I haven't had her by then. I have to start going once a week to do alternating non-stress tests and ultrasounds. I got upset when he told me this because I thought something was really wrong for him to want me to come in so much but my mom assures me that this is what they do with G.D. babies to monitor them and make sure that they don't get to big. It's just a lot. I go there once a week and to the dietician once every other week. I also got upset because in some way I feel like I did this to my baby. She's having to be monitored so much because I'm overweight and my body can't control itself. It made me really sad. The one thing I take comfort in is I'm at least going to be able to see her 4 more times before I have her due to all the ultrasounds.

Blood Pressure is still good, didn't gain any weight. Stomach grew and baby gained almost 1.5 to 2 lbs in 2 weeks. That's a lot but the ultrasound tech says that there is usually a growth spurt around 30 weeks.

Baby Hawk

Thursday, October 11, 2012

Sugar Sugar

Well it's official. I've got the diabetes or I guess I can now say, "I've got the sugar", as the older ladies used to say when they came in to the pharmacy I used to work at.

I found out on Tuesday after taking the 3 hour test on Monday. I was upset, I even cried a little but again I cry very easily these days. The nurse says I barely failed but to me a fail is a fail. I'm sure she could tell how upset I was in my voice, so she was probably just trying to not freak me out. I should have known by the way the syrup was effecting me in the 3 hours after it was a given. But I don't understand how 100g of sugar on an empty stomach doesn't effect everybody in that way! I guess it doesn't. 

SO, they are going to try to control my numbers without insulin, just diet and some VERY VERY light exercise. I can't let my heart rate get over 140 so that will be some slow walking since my heart rate runs a little higher than most people's. 

I had to go to a 2 hour meeting with a dietician today to show me what I need to eat and show me how to use my blood glucose monitor. Basically I can eat almost anything in moderation but small meals 6 times a day. No fruit juices, sodas, white bread or pasta or fried food. I can handle that. She even said if I plan correctly I can have some sweets on occasion. She said, you are 7 and half months pregnant and the holidays are coming up, I'm not going to tell you no sweets. Well, thank you lady. I appreciate that! 

I have to write all of this down and monitor my blood sugar levels and if I go 5 days straight and can't get them down, then I have to call them. If not, I go back in 2 weeks so they can review my data, tweak it if needed, etc. If I have to get on insulin it looks like it won't be for at least a month from now. Although, with all of these rules I'm starting to think insulin might be easier, LOL. Just kidding I know it's better for me to control this with diet. 

I did get a little teary eyed when they told me about what all it does to the baby and how it might can effect the baby if we don't get it under control. I'm sure they were just trying to scare me but it's still upsetting. 

I also got a lecture about stress, the work hours I've been keeping and skipping meals (of all the days, I got really busy at work and forgot to eat lunch, my blood sugar when we were doing our demonstration was 154, she said I simply cannot skip meals anymore-period. They want it to be 80-120). 

So I've had that going on, on top of packing/moving this weekend, on top of some crazy B.S. happening at work. I've had a lot of different things to juggle this week. I'm hoping once we get this move behind us, I will feel a whole lot better. 

The single most hardest part of all of this is going to be letting go of working so much. I'm just going to have to walk away sometimes and not get everything done. I can't work 7:30 to 6:30 anymore, she told me that was too much, especially in a high stress situation. She's right but its hard to let go of. This will be my challenge. The rest I can handle, this I will struggle with.

The name has finally been negotiated out. There were some serious negotations but I think we've gotten it worked out. Jay's getting first name rights to this baby, I get middle name rights. We both of two vetos and it will be opposite on any future children, if any, past Baby Hawk. We shook on it so I think it's a deal. Having trouble with the nickname, because this particular name has several nicknames that go with it but we will work it out. It's not a crazy name but I think it will be a surprise to most people. 

Move day tomorrow!!!

Thursday, October 4, 2012

Sippin on some Sizzurp...........

Doctor's appointment today. 28 weeks. Took the glucose test. I think I had so much anxiety built up and still do, I didn't sleep much last night. Plus I had a lot of work stuff floating around in my head too.

So, I move into the third trimester having gained gained 5 lbs. Overall that's 7 lbs. (if you are counting, which I am). I'm a little nervous about the test because I was super dizzy after the drink and then I wanted to go into like a sugar induced deep sleep about 30 mins to an hour later. Maybe that's normal though. 

The baby girl, now being referred to at work as Baby Hawk, weighs 2 lbs 12 oz. I'm not sure how they know this but she said they can figure it out. They said she looks good. All things look like they are functioning well. She wouldn't look at the sonogram thing though so no good shots of her face. I did get to see her kick around though. Her feet are definitely low. BUT we are springing for the 4D ultrasound in two weeks since we haven't really gotten a good picture of her yet. Very excited about this. 

In two days, we will have our 1 year anniversary. Which will be spent apart, one of us at a ballgame and the other shopping for wedding outfits. It's okay though, we both took Monday off to spend together. Plus we've been together for so long, I think we will be okay. This is what I get for getting married in football season. At least this only happens once every 7 years!

Also in one week we are moving. Very exciting but very overwhelming. We have so much to do and as much as I'm impressed of what he does have done, my husband is the worst procrastinator in the world. We have about two weeks worth of packing to do and one week, well less than one week to do it. 

Once we get in there, I'm going to have to go through everything and get moving on what I need and what I don't. I have almost everything, thanks to one very generous sister in law but there are a few things that I need. One things for sure, this baby is going to have much nicer stuff than her mother and father do, like furniture. Our bedroom consists of a hami-down dresser, target nightstands and a sofa table from Fred's that's been converted into a makeup table. No headboard but that's okay. I think I better get used to this fact. You always want better for your child than what you have for yourself. 

Almost done on the daycare front. We visited two more and I think I've pretty decided on one that is around the corner from work. It's not as nice as the first one we saw but it's clean, has closed circuit tv, $500 less a month, and everyone seems really nice. I also have a co-worker that has a little girl in there and she's been very happy. I guess that's all you ask for an infant. 

I'm officially out of my jeans and due to a broken zipper situation out of my black pants, although my regular black pants are more comfortable and fit better than the maternity pants. I'm so upset about the zipper, it's not fixable. 

That's all I got. Will update in two weeks when I've actually seen Baby Hawk's face!