tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-91625991962793084232024-03-14T01:26:48.510-07:00Life, Baby and Everything Elsekendrickkellihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06686346348508580480noreply@blogger.comBlogger21125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9162599196279308423.post-61191719026772592242013-04-22T17:39:00.002-07:002013-04-22T17:39:53.129-07:004 months old4 months old!!!<div>
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Ellie bean is 4 months old!!!! She weighs 15 lbs 7 oz, 25 inches long, and 16 inches around the head. </div>
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All is good. She has to go back for that pre-cautionary ultrasound in 2 months and we've had to start her on allergy medicine. The daycare called one day and told us she had pink eye, turned out to be allergies. We all knew that was coming. It was only a matter of time. </div>
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She's doing really well. She was rolling over a good bit and then just kind of stopped. Kind of like, I'm over it guys. I'm pretty sure she will never roll over from her back to her stomach. She's not even remotely interested. The daycare and the physical therapist said that she was about a month and a half to two months ahead on everything but the rolling over but that probably has something to do with her neck muscles. </div>
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Yep, that's right. We've had a parent/teacher conference already. It was a little ridiculous. She's 4 months old, but I got to leave work early for it so whatever. They just went over how they track her milestones, how they will report it to us, etc. </div>
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We started her on cereal last week. So far I think she likes it. The first night didn't go so well but we waited until she was WAY too tired. We learned our lesson. Now we do cereal, bath, then bottle. </div>
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She is definitely teething so the sleeping through the night has kind of gone out the window right now. She whines in her sleep, never wakes up but you have to physically go in there and put your hand on her chest and ssshh her back to sleep. We are going to have to teach her to self soothe but I think I need to meet the neighbors first and buy them some ear plugs. I've been putting it off because I'm not looking forward to it. She's drooling all over the place, irritable and can't get enough things in her mouth. She's very aggressive about it too. I think we have a biter on our hands. She's also a fit thrower. How we ended up with a drama queen I don't know. She starts kicking and whining and throwing a fit when she doesn't get her way. That's a new development. </div>
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She is also a very very curious little girl. It's becoming harder to feed her a bottle because she's constantly looking around and moving. The only time she is zoned in is when she's watching TV. We just took a 10 hr car ride. I swear she watched TV for half of it. I think that is crazy for a 4 month old. I was so torn about letting her watch so much of it but it was the only way she would forget about the car seat so we had to resort to it. </div>
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That's all I know right now. Next month we are starting vegetables and then we will finally make our way to fruit. She's very very close to sitting up on her own. She does it for about 10 seconds and then falls over. So maybe the next time I post she will be doing some of that. </div>
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kendrickkellihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06686346348508580480noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9162599196279308423.post-30455689474475973752013-03-28T06:29:00.001-07:002013-03-28T06:29:24.288-07:00Big Day for EleanorThis is an update to the 03/24 post.<br />
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On Tuesday, 03/26, Eleanor had a HUGE day. I thought I would post about it so I won't forget it. From now on I think I'll just blog about it and then a couple of days later she will do everything I'm concerned about!<br />
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First she had her ultrasound and she did great! Didn't cry, of course they had a TV over the bed playing Mickey Mouse, so they knew what they were doing! LOL. We have to go back in two months because there was a little bit of inflammation on her left side of something (didn't understand where it was) but the doctor didn't seem worried. He said it could've been due to her hydration level or reflux. Going back just for a precautionary thing. I'm going to talk to him more about it on her 4 month appointment in a couple of weeks.<br />
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Then the good stuff happened. She finally laughed. FINALLY. Her laugh is kind of a broken laugh and kind of like she is catching her breath.<br />
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She slept all night without a swaddle just in a sleep sack. I only had to get up at 4:00 to put a pacifier in her mouth but she never really even woke up. And she slept until 6:30 a.m.!!!! I had to wake her up. She has never slept that late or shall I say never slept that long of a time.<br />
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AND she did 5 minutes of tummy time but stopped crying at minute 5 and went another 5 minutes without crying. I almost filmed it because I couldn't believe it.<br />
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I'm not sure what got into her that day but it was a great day here in the Hawkins household.<br />
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P.S. She also got to FaceTime with her MimiSue and Pop for the first time because MimiSue finally figured out how to work the wireless feature on her phone that she bought just for that purpose :)kendrickkellihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06686346348508580480noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9162599196279308423.post-76596743127232883022013-03-26T05:53:00.001-07:002013-03-26T05:53:35.837-07:00In loving memoryI found out yesterday that my best friend from about 4 years old to 3rd grade died on Wednesday. I haven't spoken to her in about 10 years but it still hurts. We were best friends until my family moved from the coast and then we became pen pals (before the time of the internet). We stopped writing each other frequently around junior high age just due to life and both of ours being busy.<br />
I remember when she was diagnosed with Lupus. It was right before we moved. I didn't understand what it was but my mom told me she was very sick. For 22 years she's been on so many different drugs, they took such a toll on her body. From what I can tell on her facebook page, she had a brain aneurism which lead to a massive stroke and it was just too hard to overcome. She's been in the hospital for awhile now and started to get better but then things got much worse.<br />
I've never had someone, a friend at least, that I was extremely close to die. It's a strange feeling. Someone in my high school class died that my husband was childhood friends with but I was never really close to him so it didn't hit me like it hit him. I'm sure this won't be last as we all have to meet our maker but the first is always hard.<br />
I keep replaying the few memories that I have in my head. We had a few "spend the night" parties. Me mainly at her house because she had cooler stuff and I had to share a room with my sister and she was sick so I'm assuming that had something to do with it too.<br />
One of my favorite memories was at her birthday "spend the night" party, we rented Dirty Dancing and the VCR's had just started having the freeze buttons and slow motion buttons. They always had the newest technology first. They were the first people I knew who had one of those massive televisions that took up a whole wall. Anyway, we would freeze it on Patrick Swayze's butt and go in slow motion. LOL. First off, I thought she was rich because her VCR did that and secondly I wish there was video of us doing that. A room full of 7 or 8 year olds thinking we were doing something scandalous. LOL. She also had a trampoline and go karts. We had none of those things. The first time I was ever on the internet was at her house. She and her brother showed me and my sister Leslie what a chat room was. The first time Leslie and I were allowed to stay home alone, she came over and kept us company, we played yahtzee all day.<br />
Even though we lost touch with each other she still holds a very important place in my childhood and will be forever missed. I'm glad she no longer has to fight, she's had some really tough battles through the years, she can rest now.<br />
I hope and I know one day Ellie will have a best friend to share her special memories with. When I see them together it will remind me of Jessica.kendrickkellihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06686346348508580480noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9162599196279308423.post-47809109669368324172013-03-24T05:23:00.001-07:002013-03-24T05:29:54.909-07:00I'm going through changes...Long post, sorry. A lot to update.<br />
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In 3 days Ellie will be 14 weeks old. So much has happened since my last post. Things are moving at lightning speed. She's looking more and more like her Dad, or at least in my opinion.<br />
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I've gotten two full weeks of work down. I must say it is nice to be amongst adults again but I miss her every minute of the day. I used to go in to work and get really focused in and think it was the most important thing of the moment. Now, I stop and watch little videos I've taken of her. I've tried to take little 1 to 2 minute videos of her on my phone so if I miss her I can watch those during the day. I didn't take into account that they would make me tear up! So now I've got a box of Kleenex ready at my desk. This last week I've had to stay late a little bit and it's just killed me. I'm not missing anything but her sleeping but still. I'm sure as more weeks pass it will get better. </div>
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Ellie is doing fantastic or at least I think fantastic. I'm trying hard not to compare her to other babies. She seems to be excelling at some things and a little behind on others. It doesn't help that I have SEVERAL people on facebook that all have babies either a month ahead of her or a month behind her. </div>
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We've gotten into a routine so I guess that's good. We wake up around 5 am (I know, it sucks). She has a bottle and then she plays in her bouncy while I make and eat my breakfast. Then she watches her Baby Einstein while I finish getting dressed. She loves Baby Einstein. There are only two that are for her age right now, Baby Mozart and Baby Beethoven. She kicks and squeals and smiles. She especially likes when the babies come on and when there are flashing lights. Some mornings she's more into than others, but it buys me about 30 minutes to put my makeup on and do whatever else I need to do in the mornings. We DVR'd the new Winnie the Pooh, she seems to like that too but not near how she likes Einstein. She also is very captivated by Nemo but again it can't hold a candle to Einstein. </div>
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Anyway we are out the door by 7 am and she's at daycare by 7:30. Jay picks her up by 4:30 and when she gets home she passes out. We wake her up by 7:30, play for an hour (or at least try to) and then bottle and bed. I try to read to her but by that time she's not having it. Maybe when she gets a little bit older. </div>
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She is a definite TV junkie. I try to limit it to 30 mins a day. But it's a huge shining light box so it's hard to keep her from looking at it. She seeks it out in every room now. Oh well. Hopefully we aren't damaging her too much :)</div>
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Other than Einstein her other favorite things to do are to sit up, put things in her mouth and be held. She continues to despise tummy time. We have to do 5 minute sessions and try to get 30 mins in per the physical therapist recommendation. Some days it happens, some it doesn't. The daycare is helping. I have them doing 15 mins a day and we try to get the other 15 mins here. I might have to up their time though. She only sleeps about 3 hours at the daycare so when she gets here she passes out. We have to wake her around 7 or 7:30 to get up and play for a little bit before bed. So it's been really hard to get our 15 mins in. </div>
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She rolled over at daycare but hasn't done it for us yet. I'm sure we will see it but I've about decided that she might skip crawling and move right to walking. Just because she hates being on her stomach so much, but she loves sitting and standing up. </div>
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We've moved her to her crib this week. She has done excellent. The first night, I didn't do so well. This weekend we started making her sleep with one arm out of the swaddle to try and transition her to no swaddle. It's gone okay. She's gotten the other arm out by 3 am both nights and woken up. I just go in put the passy in her mouth and put my hand on her chest and she falls right back asleep but she wakes up every hour with both arms out :( Maybe she will get better as she gets more used to it. The first night we did it was a bust. Her Dad (bless his heart), picked her up and when she wouldn't go back to sleep just put her in the swing and they both went back to sleep. I had to remind him that is not the point, we aren't teaching her to sleep in the swing, we are teaching her to get used to the crib! He said he wanted to go back to bed so that seemed like the best option, LOL. </div>
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She hasn't laughed yet. We either have a very serious baby or this is something she just is behind on. Maybe we just aren't that funny? </div>
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Most of the people reading this are family so I won't go into a long drawn out thing about this because they already know but we had a scare and had our first trip to the emergency room. She's fully recovered but UTI's are not anything to play with. I've made it 31 years without being in an ambulance. I can now say I've been in one. At least we were driving the speed limit without the lights on. We go for her renal sonogram on Tuesday and then hopefully we can put all of this behind us. </div>
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We went to a house warming party last night for one of my co-workers. There were lots of other babies there ranging from 2 weeks old (I know, at 2 weeks I was not thinking about going to any kind of party) to 4 years old. There were two 4 month olds there. Ellie is so much taller and bigger boned then they are. I don't know if these were freakishly small babies or what. She is not fat at all, she's just big. One of them was having to wear one of those helmets. I just kept saying, we are blessed. I know those are just temporary but they are an added nuisance. </div>
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Well that's all for now. Once we get her used to the crib and no swaddle I'm going to start working on putting her down and letting her fall asleep on her own. She doesn't do that now. She has to be rocked. We will get there though. </div>
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kendrickkellihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06686346348508580480noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9162599196279308423.post-22764075189138987852013-02-21T09:48:00.001-08:002013-02-21T09:50:18.702-08:00Time FliesEllie is 9 weeks old as of yesterday. We are both doing pretty good.<br />
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So much has changed in this last month, even in this last week. I think it's only going to pick up the pace from here.<br />
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She giggled for the first time today. It was in her sleep. My heart melted a little. All I want now is for her to do it again. She's cried so much in the last 2 months it's a warm and welcome sound.<br />
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I'm starting prepare myself for going back to work. I REALLY don't want to go but there are some things in life in which we have no choice. In this matter I have no choice. Part of me wishes so badly that Jay had his "career job" now and was making a good salary so I could stay. Even then we would have to make sacrifices because of our student loan debt but I think I could make those.<br />
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I know that once the first couple of weeks pass this can only be a good thing. She's going to be playing with other kids, in a routine, there are no TVs, she's going to be on a curriculum-- I probably couldn't even do that. I'm going to be back amongst adults and in a routine as well. This is going to be good. Or at least that is what I'm telling myself. Every maternal instinct in me wants to be with her though and be in charge of her development and protect her but that is not a part of our story. It's just not in the cards unless I win the lottery.<br />
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We are working really really hard on a schedule. I don't know why because it's probably all going to change with the daycare situation. She still isn't sleeping through the night, which I believe that most babies this age aren't. I want to slap all of those women on the message boards who say that their babies don't cry and have been sleeping through the night since the beginning. Ugh. There were two nights in a row where she slept for 7 hours straight and I was the happiest person on the planet probably. She just tricked me with that. Her normal span is about a 5 hour and then she wakes and then another 2 or 3 hour span. She has such trouble with the startle reflex so she has to be swaddled and then when she is swaddled she wants out of it and squirms the whole night. If I put her in horizontal she usually always is vertical by the time I pick her up.<br />
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I'm hoping this startle reflex will go away soon because she's getting too big and strong for swaddling. Once that goes away we are in for some long nights! I have to say, and this is kind of cruel, but I'm going to be happy when Jay has to start helping with the night shifts. Right now he only handles about 2 on the weekends and that's it. He has no clue. Once I go back to work, it's going to be an equal opportunity night shift situation whether he likes it or not.<br />
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Another thing she is going through right now is only being quite when I'm holding her. I feel bad for Jay, it's so sad. He can barely hold her without her crying. I don't know why we've moved into this faze or how we get out of it. She will scream until she's handed to me and then shuts up. I'm sure she will have a faze when she only wants Daddy but right now this is exhausting and frustrating for me! My father came to visit and she was good for the most part but she had to be handed to me a couple of times.<br />
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We start physical therapy next Tuesday. She has torticollis. I think its going to be fine but she's going to HATE it at first. The first appointment is 1 to 2 hours long in her fussy time of the day so I'm looking forward to it...NOT. Jay is taking off and going with me so we can both watch and see what kind of stretches she's going to need to be doing. I'm not sure how involved this is going to be, I hope not too much. I'm not sure work is going to like me taking off more than once a week. I'm hoping we won't have to go back after the first visit but I'm sure that's just a pipe dream.<br />
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On my front of things I'm doing good. About two weeks ago my incision opened up on the edge which was pretty painful. It's on its way back to healing. You know they tell you not to do too much, they really mean it. Its not a joke. I had all of these glorious plans of getting into a workout routine and working off some of this weight while I was out of work and home with her. I don't think that working out is part of the c-section recovery plan as I've found out. LOL. Oh well, the plans will have to wait.<br />
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That's all I know right now. She now weighs basically 13 lbs, 23 and a half inches long and her head is 16 inches around, I think. She's a big baby. She has new hair coming in which is kind of a weird blonde/light brown/red looking hair. Her head is kind of odd right now because she has dark and light hair on it. It looks dark in most lights but in pics and in the sunlight you can see all of the different colors.<br />
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We are going home in two weekends and I can't wait for her to meet all of her Aunts, Uncles and cousins. I think her 5 aunts and 2 grandmothers are about to burst wanting to see her.<br />
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<br />kendrickkellihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06686346348508580480noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9162599196279308423.post-35793210465628587302013-01-16T12:56:00.000-08:002013-01-16T12:56:09.988-08:001 month reportEllie turned 1 month yesterday. I can't believe we are at the 4 week mark!<br />
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We are learning more about each other each day. I can't wait until she starts laughing and playing. Right now she smiles on occasion, like a real smile..not a gas smile. It's the sweetest smile ever (I'm sure every parent says that). She likes this mirror that I bought her. It's bright colors with zebra print trim. She will stare at that for about 15 to 20 mins which I think is good for a newborn. She follows things for just a second and I have this book called white on black. Its a black book with white shapes, like a bottle or bird, she likes that too. I'm trying to read/or tell her a story every day and let her listen to music at least an hour a day instead of the TV. She's going to have a very diverse music knowledge. We go from Beyonce to Beach Boys to the Mamas and the Papas to The Beatles to Aretha Franklin.<br />
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There is this one song that I went through a span of listening to every single morning on the way to work and singing at the top of my lungs. It's Selena's, I could fall in love, I swear to you it calms her down. I don't know if she can recognize it from the womb or it's just a coincidence but one day she was screaming I would turn the song on and she would shut up! I tried to get it on tape but I suck at video recording, all I got was her being quite while it was on. It's probably all in my head but I think she remembers.<br />
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Since this weekend we've reverted back to our crying games. Poor thing. It's definitely gas related. She wakes up in the middle of a nap screaming and then falls back to sleep. Last night, she pooted, burped and sneezed at the same time, it was impressive. It scared her so much you would have thought we were torturing her. I'm sure it hurt a little too.<br />
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She stays hopped up on mylicon, mylanta or gripe water. We have a system down. It's mylicon for most occasions, if she's spitting up a good bit we give her the mylanta instead because it's suppose to coat her stomach and esophagus (we use this as a second choice because it has less mylicon in it, then just giving mylicon) and then at night before bed if she's really fussy we give her gripe water. It seems to calm her down a good bit. All of this is as needed, of course. I try not to give her too much. I don't know why it bothers me but it really disturbs me to have her take so much medicine but as my mother says, you want her to feel good not be in pain and if I have something that helps, I should use it.<br />
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I've been reading and apparently this fussiness is very common and usually peaks at 6 weeks. I sure hope hers does. The other night Jay asked me when I thought she would stop all of this crying stuff, I said, I don't know but I hope so soon. Then I was thinking, dude you are only dealing with it like 6 hours a day now, you don't even know the half of it and I'm pretty sure we are getting some kind of payback from when he was a baby! There are so many parents out there on blogs who are just as frustrated as we/I am. I take comfort in knowing that I'm not alone. You can hear the desperation in their blogs or posts. I feel their pain. It's so damn irritating and frustrating and then you get mad at yourself for being so irritated because she can't help it. It's a vicious cycle. It'll get better though, I know it will. At least she's not as bad as what they say Jay was like. That's a blessing.<br />
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She's eating about 25 to 30 ozs a day now. I think that's a lot for her age but she acts like we are starving her. Damn, formula is expensive! I think we are wasting a lot too. I've got to start watching what we are wasting.<br />
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She also is outgrowing the smallest of her clothes :( It's too soon. She's very long so the onesies with the footies are the ones that are getting the closest to being put up.<br />
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That's all I've got right now. Here's a picture of her yesterday. She was pretty grumpy so I didn't get many good shots. She always does the best when there is no flash!<br />
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<br />kendrickkellihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06686346348508580480noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9162599196279308423.post-62841920597143754312013-01-10T08:27:00.003-08:002013-01-10T08:27:54.726-08:00The Sweetest ThingShe's here!!<div>
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Sorry it's been awhile, I've been kind of busy. This will be long so settle in.</div>
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Eleanor Louise Hawkins made her debut on 12/18/12 at 5:32 p.m. via c-section. She's just beautiful. Everything that they say happens when your baby is born is not a cliche...it happens. A whole chamber of my heart that I did not know existed has filled up with love. I didn't know you could love something so much. It's terrifying and wonderful all at the same time. To quote the song below, my heart is now ruined for the rest of all time.</div>
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What's in a name? </div>
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Her name was finally revealed. I can't believe I didn't slip. Back in August, my sister Katie, text me and said that I should name her Eleanor and call her Norah. That's what started the Eleanor discussion. Jay didn't like it at first so I started calling her that just to mess with him. At that time he was DEAD SET on Margaret/Maggie. I have a first cousin named Margaret/Maggie and just couldn't do it. So Eleanor started to grow on him. It met all of our requirements, it was traditional, not in the top 25, had tons of possible nicknames, a Kardashian hadn't used it yet, it was a royal name (wasn't a requirement but that's where Jay wanted to start when we started looking) and it just happened to be the name of one of my favorite characters in one of my favorite Jane Austen movies- Sense and Sensibility, it was also a name in a Beatles song (something that I kept going to for reference because both of our fathers love the Beatles so much) . </div>
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So when he decided that this was his favorite, I started having reservations, mainly because he wanted her nickname to be Ellie. That sounds way too much like Kelli. I can just see a lifetime of someone calling our names and the other going, "did you call me?". I really didn't want that but in the end he's the one thats going to have to answer that question the most so if he's okay with it, I guess I am. So we were still undecided until our last trip home. I was leaning towards it but just still didn't know. </div>
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Then I guess what put me over the edge was a song. Music is such an important part of my life and I often turn to music for my answers. It was only fitting that a song led me to my conclusion. </div>
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One of our favorite bands released their new album in late September/early October. After about a week or two of trying to convince me that Eleanor was the name. Jay had been listening to the new CD at work and came home one day and said there was a song on there that one of them had written for their daughter and her name was Eleanor and it was a sign. I just kind of wrote it off. Then on one of our trips home Jay played it for me. It was so beautiful, I knew it was time to give up and give in. It <i>was</i> a sign. This band is about one of 5 that we actually agree on and we pilgrimaged to Colorado for my 30th birthday to their concert. It had to be a sign. The universe was telling us to name her Eleanor. Below is a link to the song. </div>
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sncq9hZg9AQ</div>
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As for her middle name. That wasn't decided on until the week of her birth. I've only truly known two grandmother type figures in my life. My great-grandmother, Nanny, who died when I was in the 6th grade, and Jay's grandmother, who I only knew for a short time but was so loving and special to me and obviously Jay. She was the kind of grandmother everyone who doesn't have one wishes they did, she reminded me of Nanny. One of my grandmothers died when I was very young and the other was not the grandmothering type. While I didn't spend a WHOLE lot of time with my Nanny, she was still all I've really had growing up. Well they both share the name Louise. My great-grandmother's first name, Jay's grandmother's middle name. I really really wanted to use it but it had already been used by Jay's sister on our niece. We were so torn. Finally after combing the name book and not finding anything we liked as much and had as much meaning, we decided to ask Jay's sister. She gave us her blessing and now it's history. So Thank You Robyn, I wouldn't have been able to use it if you hadn't have said it was okay. </div>
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Okay so now you know how we got to the name. </div>
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She's a beautiful little girl. I'm sure I'm just a little biased. She looks like her Dad from the nose up and has my mouth and chin. I think her eyes are going to be blue. Jay thinks that they are turning Hazel like his. We shall see.</div>
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We are learning more about each other each day. She's been a little fussy but we are working through it. It gets better every day. The poor thing has such a problem with gas. We are doing everything possible for it but it's just not enough sometimes. She's pretty pleasant but she has about 2 or 3 hours a day when she's just fussy and there is nothing we can do to help her. Her birth weight was 8 lbs, as of last week she was already 9 lbs and I think she's gained some since then. She is VERY serious about eating. I would expect nothing less of my daugher. She's got a very long body and short legs, just like her Dad. The newborn clothes are starting to get a little too short for her. </div>
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So far the biggest disappointment has been the feeding part. I wish I had been more educated and prepared for the breastfeeding part of it. I knew the bare minimum going in and should've armed myself with more knowledge. She started to refusing to breastfeed the night before we came home from the hospital. She would buck back and scream at the top of her lungs. The nurses were frustrated just like I was. The pediatrician said she wasn't getting enough and to supplement with formula until my milk came in. Well, it never came in. Looking back and researching, there were some things I should have been doing to help it come in that I wasn't and didn't know about but it's too late now. She's eating around 25 to 28 oz a day now, even if I started back today I wouldn't be able to keep upI can't keep with that. I was only going to breastfeed for about 8 weeks but I still am disappointed that I didn't make it happen. At least she got about 3 days of the colostrum, though. I feel like I've let her down somehow.</div>
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I'm doing great. I have days that I think I can do more than I can and I regret it later. I've never dealt with healing a surgery wound before so I don't know quite how to act. I feel so bad when Jay has to do everything and quite frankly sometimes I just want it done my way (when I say this, I'm mainly referring to the loading of the dishwasher, I'm a little particular about it) :)</div>
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I've been pretty emotional. I'm sure it's the hormones and lack of sleep. I keep thinking, man I can't wait until we get back to normal and then I realize there is no old normal anymore. I knew this going in but it's really setting in now. Jay and I were in such a routine and rhythm now it's all been turned upside down. It's a good upside down but for someone who doesn't like change it's an adjustment and I find myself already nostalgic for being able to stop and do whatever I want. </div>
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I also for whatever reason last week found myself nostalgic for being pregnant. There was a lot to hate about it but I missed her being there for some reason. When I was pregnant she only relied on me and no one else, now anyone can take care of her and I have to share her with the world. It's a selfish thought, I know. Everyone on the internet says it's just the hormones and this is normal. I haven't felt that way this week but it was something that I've been going through. </div>
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Last but not least, I have a wonderful husband and best friend. Jay has been SO great. I realize that some women are not so lucky and for the life of me don't know how anyone can do this on their own. I have a new found respect for anyone who has. He took off two weeks to be with me, he has done almost everything around the house and all of our errand running. The sweetest thing he's done for us is slept with me on the couch for the first two weeks. She hasn't been going in her pack and play so it's been basically the swing or me for sleeping. So we've been living on the couch in the living room. Well Jay has a REAL problem with waking up. He can't, basically. So because of this, up until this week he's been sleeping close so I won't have to get up and go physically shake him if I need him in the middle of the night. I think that is a sweet gesture. The second night here I was literally standing by him, with Ellie screaming in my arms, yelling his name and I had to shake him several times before he would wake up. It's crazy. The poor guy, he just can't help it. I'm glad one of us is a light sleeper!! </div>
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Well I'll try to update more later. Gotta go try to catch some Z's while she is sleeping.</div>
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kendrickkellihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06686346348508580480noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9162599196279308423.post-2517388592970616632012-12-10T18:22:00.000-08:002012-12-10T18:22:04.816-08:00Waiting is the hardest partDoc appointment today. Nothing new. Still saying that it's probably going to be the 18th. I have one last appointment next Monday for an ultrasound and he will make his final decision but I think he's pretty much set on the 18th if it doesn't happen sooner.<br />
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She hasn't dropped. In fact for the non-stress test today her heartbeat was way above my belly button. I don't know what she's doing in there, the last ultrasound her head was in my lower abdomen so I can't imagine how she's positioned. She scared me a little today or was being the complete stubborn baby that she is destined to be because it took 3 nurses and the doctor to find her heartbeat. I kept saying, well I know she's in there...believe me. They found her but I'm going to have a bruise where I had to push the monitor into my stomach to get the heartbeat.<br />
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He warned me that as of right now I'm not showing signs that I'm ready to give birth yet so it might be difficult to deliver vaginally if nothing changes in the next week. I told him I really really didn't want a c-section but if we have to, of course I would do whatever is necessary. He said we could wait past the 18th but he really doesn't want to go past the 39th week since I have gestational diabetes. So we are going to give it the old college try with induction and then if my body just doesn't want to cooperate we will have to do a c-section. That's just how it's going to have to be, in his words. :( double frowny face :( :(<br />
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I'm mainly being a big scardy cat because I've never even been in the hospital much less had surgery and it takes my body about a month to get rid of a bruise, what is surgery going to do to it? It's not going to be pretty, let me tell you, not pretty AT ALL. None of the options are going to be pretty but I think the c-section will be much worse than a regular delivery.<br />
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I now understand what they were saying in all of those blogs/books/etc about the home stretch of pregnancy. There is NOTHING glorious about this time. When you've actually considered using the portable wheelchair at the grocery store and wondered if you would be judged, or you've sat in the car while out shopping to "conserve" your feet, or you've asked your husband to spot check your legs and make sure you didn't miss a spot while shaving and or had him tie your tennis shoes it's pretty much time to give up. Don't even get me started about my poor feet, I was embarrassed to go in the salon because I haven't been able to keep up with them. They had to get the "heavy" equipment out- not kidding. Also when I'm by myself, this apartment is totally a pants optional area, and usually I opt out. LOL.<br />
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Some days are better than others but geez. I thought people were exaggerating. I've had a few bumps along the way with the progesterone and diabetes but I think I've had a relatively easy pregnancy. I haven't been too moody, I've been able to work a lot and get a lot done and haven't really been too uncomfortable until about 2 weeks ago and it's all been downhill since then.<br />
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Last day at work is Friday. Yeah!!!!!!!! I'm pretty much checked out this week but trying to keep my head down and deal with emails and problems as they come up. It's pretty hard to be motivated. My co-workers have a pool going on the birth date. Most of them think I'm going to be so stressed out on Friday trying to wrap everything up that I'll go into labor on Saturday. My friend, Tommy, that sits next to me says he saw me before I went on my trip to Europe and that was only for 2 weeks, this is for 11. He might have a point, but I'm trying to stay super calm about it :)<br />
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I think I've done as much as I possibly can do. I'm pretty much packed for the both of us. I'm probably overpacked for her. There are things I use every day that I obviously can't pack but I've made a list of them so I don't forget. If I forget something Jay can come home and get it or there is a Target next to the hospital so we will be fine. He's not packed but not really sure what he would need besides a change of clothes?<br />
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The house is decent and I'm trying to keep up with it. The car seat is installed. The room is pretty much done or as done as it's getting right now. Her clothes are washed for the most part. Lists are made for who's in charge of calling who and who to call for work/pay purposes after I deliver. Pediatrician is picked. What else am I missing?<br />
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If she hasn't come by this weekend, Jay and I are going to go out to a nice dinner (just not too nice because Kelli doesn't have any really dressy maternity clothes). I'm not sure if he's aware of this plan or not but we are going to proceed like he is :) I figure we aren't going to be to do go out for a long time and after 15 years by ourselves, our lives are about to change forever. I'm not sure if we are ready for it. We are in such a routine and are so comfortable with how things are, it's going to be interesting.<br />
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Until next week!!!!<br />
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<br />kendrickkellihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06686346348508580480noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9162599196279308423.post-58560976231631870702012-11-23T18:01:00.001-08:002012-11-23T18:01:03.838-08:00Stuff, stuff and more stuffA lot has happened in the last week and a half.<br />
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My friend threw her shower thing that she wanted to throw. It turned out to be okay. There were actually more guys there than girls (I work with a lot of men) and it was very laid back just like I wanted and all of the "non pregnant" people, aka everyone else, had drinks and was very relaxed. I am very grateful and appreciate that I have a friend that would do that for me.<br />
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I have some pictures on my phone but they were sent in a stream and not sure how to pick out the ones I don't like vs. the ones I do. One of my friends made a fabulous cake with a little lamb on it. It was DELICIOUS, but I only got like half of a piece. They had stuffed lambs all over the house and it was very very cute. I had told them that I was drawn more towards lambs but wasn't making it a theme in her room or anything so now she has like 4 or 5 stuffed lambs and we bought some pictures with lambs so I guess it is a theme.<br />
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I've been on a shopping bonanza this week. I DO NOT like to spend money, especially a lot at one time, but I'm in a really big hurry so it is what it is. I'm ready to get it done so I can rest up the last 2 weeks. We've got pretty much everything now, through the shower, gift cards and things I've been saving up for. I'm just patiently waiting for the furniture to be delivered. I think they are chopping down the wood for it or something. It's ridiculous. It shouldn't take 8 to 10 weeks to get a crib. The changing table and the chair are in. I'm just waiting on the crib and then they are going to deliver them all together.<br />
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We've now got a car seat/travel system thing. We've got a swing. All or most of the clothes have been washed. The only thing I'm a little light on is the feeding stuff because I don't really know how all of that is going play out and diapers. I bought the parts to the pump, Jay's coworker let me borrower and I got a bottle starter kit at the shower and bottles from my sister in law so I have stuff. Just not sure how it's all going to play out. On the diapers, someone gave me 3 sample packs of three different kinds so I figure I'll go through those, figure out which one I like and then send Jay to the store for more of those.<br />
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The Christmas Tree is up. I've never put it up this early but since we only have 3 to 4 weeks and I want to relax for at least the last 2, we went ahead and did it. Our apartment is getting crowded, so I suggested no tree and Jay said "no, we have to have a tree". So there is some light decorating. We aren't getting presents this year so I don't know why we need a tree. I did buy her one thing. I bought her a rocking horse. She won't be able to use it for a very long time but he was really cute and on sale so I bought it. It will look cute in her room at least. I might end up getting Jay something small, not sure what yet but not sure when I'll have time or be away from him long enough to buy him something. I don't hardly go anyway by myself these days.<br />
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Doctor's Appointment on Monday. Just for a non stress test nothing big. I'm getting very uncomfortable. It's harder and harder to get up. Jay actually had to tie my shoes today, how helpless have I become?<br />
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<br />kendrickkellihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06686346348508580480noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9162599196279308423.post-79008793666278400922012-11-15T17:20:00.001-08:002012-11-15T17:20:43.850-08:00Commencing Countdown in 5...Another weekly appointment down. Another ultrasound.<br />
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She has finally flipped and is now head down. They say she weighs about 6 lbs, heart rate was 153. I believe that makes her in the 70th percentile on size. I have a little bit of extra amniotic fluid but they said that's probably because of the diabetes and they aren't concerned.<br />
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We have appointments scheduled out through December 10th and as we were walking out he said in 3 to 4 weeks we will have her delivered. As conservative as he is though, I think he's going to leave her in here until as late as he possibly can.So I'm thinking sometime between the 10th to the 18th, if I were a betting person and she will be around 8 to 9 lbs. Unless of course she decides on her own to show up early, which I hope she doesn't because I have a lot more to do and not enough time to do it.<br />
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I haven't picked a pediatrician yet, I just haven't had time. I really need to get that done. Things have been crazy at work and I'm feeling a lot of self induced pressure to get things done up there. I don't have any of her stuff yet as far as diapers, car seat, swing, furniture, etc. AND most importantly I need a pedicure, dammit. LOL. I've been trying to hold off so they will be fresh for the delivery but my feet are horrible right now. I think diabetes makes your feet look worse or at least mine do. (Yes I am fully aware that no one but me cares about my feet at delivery but I have so many other things to feel insecure about in this delivery process, my feet are one thing I control and make sure that they at least are decent)<br />
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I'm starting to get more and more nervous about the whole delivery part. We've been going to prepared childbirth classes. They've been interesting to say the least. I have learned a good bit and feel better than I would have if I had done nothing.<br />
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They would be really great if there weren't about 3 couples that are ALL about the PDA. I'm sorry, I know it's a beautiful time and some women love the way they feel when they are pregnant but that doesn't mean that everyone wants you to feel all up on each other and kiss constantly or start making out while we are all on the floor doing breathing exercises. I just really hate PDA, especially in a damn prepared childbirth class. Everyone in there is at least 30 weeks pregnant. Jay said he felt like we were about to be in some kind of weird pregnant lady orgy at one point. I just close my eyes and tell myself..this will be over soon (I think I will be doing that a lot very soon). As much as I hate it, multiply by 10 and that's how much Jay hates it.<br />
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We went on a tour of the hospital, it's really nice but I have nothing to compare it to so who knows if where it compares to others. They have the highest level NICU you can have, so that makes me feel better in case something happens.<br />
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We also took an Infant/Child CPR class one night and I feel MUCH better about that but also think I might be bad in a high pressure situations, so I hope Jay will remember if there is a crisis.<br />
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So the countdown has begun. She will be here soon, I can quit giving myself shots, take some time away from work and we can begin our lives together. <br />
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<br />kendrickkellihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06686346348508580480noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9162599196279308423.post-72041036230062003112012-11-01T17:12:00.002-07:002012-11-01T17:12:30.259-07:00Officially 8 monthsDoctor's Appointment Today:<div>
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Baby Hawk weighs 5 lbs now. He said she's in the 76th percentile. At this rate, I'm not sure I'll even make it to December 18th! I only gained 1 pound back from the 3 I lost last week. </div>
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They did an ultrasound this week. He said she scores an 8 out of 8 on all of the vitals so I guess that's good but she's a big baby. He looks at all my numbers and said that he thought I was doing really good with the blood sugar except for some sporadic reads. He went back and forth with himself on whether or not he was going to put me on insulin. He said it was only going to get worse as we got closer and she got bigger and then he said we'd wait another week. AND THEN he measured my stomach. I grew 5 cms in 1 week, which he says is a lot. Once he saw that he decided to go ahead and do it. So tomorrow morning I have to go back in so they can show me how to give myself shots :( He's putting me on the lowest dose possible because he said he's actually worried about it getting too low because my numbers are actually pretty good. We will see what happens. I guess I need to get some candy to carry around in my purse in case in drops too low. </div>
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The ultrasound tech remembered me from the 4D ultrasound and gave me two more 4D pics today because she didn't have her hands in her face as much. I thought that was SUPER nice. All I have are the black and white photos and I can't figure out how to get them to the computer. One is of face where she is looking down and another of her when she yawned. There is some kind of weird thing looking like it's protruding from her cheek, but I'm sure it was something floating around, but of course I'm completely obsessed with it and now think my baby has a weird growth on her cheek. I'm sure the tech would have said something if she thought it was out of the ordinary. Her cheeks have gotten fat. I think she might have gained the whole pound in her cheeks. </div>
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She's still in the breech position. They said that they really like for them to turn by 34 weeks. I was thinking well that is something that is completely out of my control. She's going to have to decide to do that on her own. Good to know that she has her father's procrastination tendencies though. </div>
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That's all I know right now. Work is letting me pretty much do what I want, which is nice of them. I'm trying not to take advantage though. </div>
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kendrickkellihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06686346348508580480noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9162599196279308423.post-70341417939806309502012-10-27T09:37:00.000-07:002012-10-27T09:37:33.598-07:00Losing my mind<br />
Pregnancy brain, fact or fiction? FACT!!!!<br />
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I have become a complete ditz. Like really, so far this week I've gone the wrong way in our building coming out of the bathroom, gotten out of the car with the keys still in the ignition, every time I go to the doctor I have to pee in a cup- this week went straight into the bathroom, sat down peed, walked right out without ever looking at the cup, forgot to take my vitamins twice. I did something else that I can't remember and Jay looked at me like I had lost my mind. It has to be all of the things swirling around in my head between baby stuff, work, home, etc. My co-workers think its hilarious.<br />
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I got her bedding already, it's very simple but sweet. I would post a picture but it is monogrammed so that's not happening. It's the Harper bedding from Pottery Barn, in chocolate brown. I think you have to go under the boy's section to see the chocolate brown, but it doesn't look masculine at all. The sheet is brown and white polka dot.<br />
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My friend is insisting on this shower thing. Jay is upset because she picked the same day as the LSU/Ole Miss game but he can just get over it. If I have to go to this thing, he does too. I've made a lot of concessions over the last 15 years for football, mainly this past year with the anniversary thing, he can sacrifice one game for a freakin baby shower. I've got almost everything I need to start off, just missing a few things. On the breastfeeding stuff, I just made my best guess because I'm clueless. I made two lists one on BuyBuyBaby and one on Amazon, but the Amazon one is just fun stuff like books/movies and toys and it's under my maiden name.<br />
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Still deciding on her middle name. I've narrowed it down to 2. Can't decide which one I like better.<br />
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In medical news:<br />
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Had my first "weekly" visit this week. This week was for a non-stress test. They basically hooked me up to a monitor to chart her heartbeat and I had to push a button every time I hear her move. Of course, my child would be sitting really deep and I had to press the monitor into my stomach for 30 mins. My arm was so sore. But even with that it was still kind of relaxing and reassuring to sit and listen to her heart go for 30 mins though, you could hear her moving too. Got a flu shot too, so I should be good there. My mom wants Jay to go get the whooping cough shot, I don't think I can get it but she said he needs to because it's so dangerous for babies to get that.<br />
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I also had an appointment with the dietician. I've lost 3 lbs in one week. No one seemed to be concerned, so I guess that's okay. That puts me at 4 for the total pregnancy and she weighs about 4, so not sure how that works out. <br />
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My blood sugar numbers have been okay. This last week has been very very frustrating, I seem to have taken a turn for the worse. The supper numbers and some of the other numbers were just completely out of whack. I had a ham and cheese panini, which literally consisted of two pieces of whole grain bread, 4 oz's of ham and a piece of american cheese. NOTHING ELSE, and my blood sugar was 143. That's the highest it's been. The other 3 nights were just as baffling. I ate things I've eaten since I got this and the numbers were much higher. The dietician was scratching her head too.<br />
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After we talked about it, I realized that this last week has been what is called "month end" at work. We had to have our loans done by Thursday for them to count. And right now we are having to do everything to get them done, no one else is helping. It's <i>extremely </i>stressful, and I'm sure I make it more so because I put so much pressure on myself. We deduced that this has to be what is going on. I can't believe stress would raise your blood sugar 40 points, but the dietician says it most certainly could. So now, I have to do some light exercise after my meal if I'm under a lot of stress, which when am I not? It's easy for someone to say just stop stressing and worrying but it's what I do, it's what I've always done, it's just who I am. I don't know how to be any different.<br />
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I think I'm going to end up on insulin. The doctor asked me how I felt about it, so I think he's trying to ease me into the idea. I told him I didn't want to do it but obviously if I need it I certainly will. It's only for a little while. I can do anything for a little while. I'm pretty sure he's going to do this on my next visit on Thursday, especially after he sees my numbers of this last week and weekend. I didn't take them to him this week so he was talking about insulin before seeing how bad they've gotten. I get an ultrasound on Thursday so she's being monitored very closely :)<br />
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That's all I know. Still working on the house. It feels so industrial, I'm trying to figure out how to make it look more comfortable. I'm sure it's just going to take some time.<br />
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<br />kendrickkellihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06686346348508580480noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9162599196279308423.post-70137200693718058662012-10-20T18:40:00.001-07:002012-10-20T18:40:53.702-07:00The RealnessWell everything just got really real this week. Only have 8 and 1/2 weeks to go.<br />
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Got the 4D ultrasound done. Baby Hawk is beautiful. She looks like her Dad to me but she's still got 2 more months to cook so you never know. Jay and I are kind of similar anyway, as his Mom pointed out. I can't believe that that little thing is swimming around in there. I can feel her moving around a good bit more now, she must sleep a lot though because she only does around eating time.<br />
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Speaking of eating time. I now have to eat 6 small meals a day, write everything down and take my blood sugar 4 times a day. It's not too bad. I am, or I thought I was, doing really well until the doctor told me otherwise. The dietitian said that I needed to keep my blood sugar under 120, I was doing really well. The doctor wants me to keep it below 105! I don't think non-diabetics can keep this number. My 7 day average has been 107, so I guess it's attainable. I've made a few mis-steps in the last week. The worst was going to the greek restaurant, the guy assured me it was a wheat pita but it was NOT. My reading was 135 after that lunch. I won't be eating greek anymore.<br />
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We also got all moved in. I feel like I'm living in a hotel. We need rugs and lots of them and we need to hang curtains and pictures. It also still smells like fresh paint so it feels like we don't live here.<br />
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We also ordered the nursery furniture today and crib bedding. I'm really nervous now because we should have done it earlier. They said it would take 8-10 weeks to be delivered (the furniture, at least), which means I won't have time to set up it up before I have her. I guess there are worse things in the world but I really wanted everything to be done. Her crib bedding is going to be really simple, it's just white and chocolate brown. The room is beige and brown it was the only thing that was going to work that we agreed on.<br />
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I really really do have a dilema though. My friend at work is INSISTING on giving me a shower at her house. I do not want one, period. Number one, because I literally go to work and home, I don't know anyone outside of those two places. This is going to be the most pathetic shower ever, like 3 people are going to be there. (I'm not exaggerating, really I'm not. Can you hire friends?) I tried to tell her this and actually begged her but she won't listen. Number two, I really don't get into girlie things like "baby games", etc. It's just not my style. Number three, I don't really like being the center of attention. Geez, it's stressing me out. I'm going to have to tell her that she's causing me more stress and it's doing more harm than good. I appreciate her wanting to do something nice, I really do, but it's too stressful.<br />
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And finally, last but not least. The doctor says he's going to try to take me to 39 weeks. So to pencil in December 18th if I haven't had her by then. I have to start going once a week to do alternating non-stress tests and ultrasounds. I got upset when he told me this because I thought something was really wrong for him to want me to come in so much but my mom assures me that this is what they do with G.D. babies to monitor them and make sure that they don't get to big. It's just a lot. I go there once a week and to the dietician once every other week. I also got upset because in some way I feel like I did this to my baby. She's having to be monitored so much because I'm overweight and my body can't control itself. It made me really sad. The one thing I take comfort in is I'm at least going to be able to see her 4 more times before I have her due to all the ultrasounds.<br />
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Blood Pressure is still good, didn't gain any weight. Stomach grew and baby gained almost 1.5 to 2 lbs in 2 weeks. That's a lot but the ultrasound tech says that there is usually a growth spurt around 30 weeks.<br />
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Baby Hawk<br />
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<br />kendrickkellihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06686346348508580480noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9162599196279308423.post-85456109789362779272012-10-11T20:04:00.003-07:002012-10-11T20:13:05.039-07:00Sugar SugarWell it's official. I've got the diabetes or I guess I can now say, "I've got the sugar", as the older ladies used to say when they came in to the pharmacy I used to work at.<br />
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I found out on Tuesday after taking the 3 hour test on Monday. I was upset, I even cried a little but again I cry very easily these days. The nurse says I barely failed but to me a fail is a fail. I'm sure she could tell how upset I was in my voice, so she was probably just trying to not freak me out. I should have known by the way the syrup was effecting me in the 3 hours after it was a given. But I don't understand how 100g of sugar on an empty stomach doesn't effect everybody in that way! I guess it doesn't. </div>
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SO, they are going to try to control my numbers without insulin, just diet and some VERY VERY light exercise. I can't let my heart rate get over 140 so that will be some <i>slow</i> walking since my heart rate runs a little higher than most people's. </div>
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I had to go to a 2 hour meeting with a dietician today to show me what I need to eat and show me how to use my blood glucose monitor. Basically I can eat almost anything in moderation but small meals 6 times a day. No fruit juices, sodas, white bread or pasta or fried food. I can handle that. She even said if I plan correctly I can have some sweets on occasion. She said, you are 7 and half months pregnant and the holidays are coming up, I'm not going to tell you no sweets. Well, thank you lady. I appreciate that! </div>
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I have to write all of this down and monitor my blood sugar levels and if I go 5 days straight and can't get them down, then I have to call them. If not, I go back in 2 weeks so they can review my data, tweak it if needed, etc. If I have to get on insulin it looks like it won't be for at least a month from now. Although, with all of these rules I'm starting to think insulin might be easier, LOL. Just kidding I know it's better for me to control this with diet. </div>
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I did get a little teary eyed when they told me about what all it does to the baby and how it might can effect the baby if we don't get it under control. I'm sure they were just trying to scare me but it's still upsetting. </div>
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I also got a lecture about stress, the work hours I've been keeping and skipping meals (of all the days, I got really busy at work and forgot to eat lunch, my blood sugar when we were doing our demonstration was 154, she said I simply cannot skip meals anymore-period. They want it to be 80-120). </div>
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So I've had that going on, on top of packing/moving this weekend, on top of some crazy B.S. happening at work. I've had a lot of different things to juggle this week. I'm hoping once we get this move behind us, I will feel a whole lot better. </div>
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The single most hardest part of all of this is going to be letting go of working so much. I'm just going to have to walk away sometimes and not get everything done. I can't work 7:30 to 6:30 anymore, she told me that was too much, especially in a high stress situation. She's right but its hard to let go of. This will be my challenge. The rest I can handle, this I will struggle with.<br />
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The name has finally been negotiated out. There were some serious negotations but I think we've gotten it worked out. Jay's getting first name rights to this baby, I get middle name rights. We both of two vetos and it will be opposite on any future children, if any, past Baby Hawk. We shook on it so I think it's a deal. Having trouble with the nickname, because this particular name has several nicknames that go with it but we will work it out. It's not a crazy name but I think it will be a surprise to most people. </div>
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Move day tomorrow!!!</div>
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kendrickkellihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06686346348508580480noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9162599196279308423.post-4418232292398502382012-10-04T18:35:00.002-07:002012-10-04T18:37:46.081-07:00Sippin on some Sizzurp...........Doctor's appointment today. 28 weeks. Took the glucose test. I think I had so much anxiety built up and still do, I didn't sleep much last night. Plus I had a lot of work stuff floating around in my head too.<br />
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So, I move into the third trimester having gained gained 5 lbs. Overall that's 7 lbs. (if you are counting, which I am). I'm a little nervous about the test because I was super dizzy after the drink and then I wanted to go into like a sugar induced deep sleep about 30 mins to an hour later. Maybe that's normal though. </div>
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The baby girl, now being referred to at work as Baby Hawk, weighs 2 lbs 12 oz. I'm not sure how they know this but she said they can figure it out. They said she looks good. All things look like they are functioning well. She wouldn't look at the sonogram thing though so no good shots of her face. I did get to see her kick around though. Her feet are definitely low. BUT we are springing for the 4D ultrasound in two weeks since we haven't really gotten a good picture of her yet. Very excited about this. </div>
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In two days, we will have our 1 year anniversary. Which will be spent apart, one of us at a ballgame and the other shopping for wedding outfits. It's okay though, we both took Monday off to spend together. Plus we've been together for so long, I think we will be okay. This is what I get for getting married in football season. At least this only happens once every 7 years!</div>
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Also in one week we are moving. Very exciting but very overwhelming. We have so much to do and as much as I'm impressed of what he does have done, my husband is the worst procrastinator in the world. We have about two weeks worth of packing to do and one week, well less than one week to do it. </div>
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Once we get in there, I'm going to have to go through everything and get moving on what I need and what I don't. I have almost everything, thanks to one very generous sister in law but there are a few things that I need. One things for sure, this baby is going to have much nicer stuff than her mother and father do, like furniture. Our bedroom consists of a hami-down dresser, target nightstands and a sofa table from Fred's that's been converted into a makeup table. No headboard but that's okay. I think I better get used to this fact. You always want better for your child than what you have for yourself. </div>
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Almost done on the daycare front. We visited two more and I think I've pretty decided on one that is around the corner from work. It's not as nice as the first one we saw but it's clean, has closed circuit tv, $500 less a month, and everyone seems really nice. I also have a co-worker that has a little girl in there and she's been very happy. I guess that's all you ask for an infant. </div>
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I'm officially out of my jeans and due to a broken zipper situation out of my black pants, although my regular black pants are more comfortable and fit better than the maternity pants. I'm so upset about the zipper, it's not fixable. </div>
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That's all I got. Will update in two weeks when I've actually seen Baby Hawk's face!</div>
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kendrickkellihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06686346348508580480noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9162599196279308423.post-43112914778442707362012-09-20T19:14:00.003-07:002012-09-20T19:14:51.104-07:00Low RiderAlmost another 2 weeks are down. <div>
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Her kicks are getting stronger, still not strong enough for Jay to feel her though. She usually moves around about 30 mins after I eat and right before I go to bed, then randomly throughout the day. She's apparently a low rider. I can't feel her at all around my belly button or anything. I mainly feel kicks around my bladder and intestines. </div>
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My jeans have gotten uncomfortable and I started wearing the band thing last weekend when I wear them. My black pants still fit. I went ahead and bought some maternity clothes. Just two pair of jeans, one pair of black pants and a tank top. I'm holding off as long as I can but at least I have a back-up if I need to. I wore the jeans for the first time today for reasons listed below. I can't tell you how weird it is to walk around in public in pants that don't zip or button. They are still a little big so they felt like they were going to fall down the whole time. </div>
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The daycare saga continues. We were on our way to see another one yesterday morning and I got into a car wreck. I've never been in a car wreck before and it was totally my fault. I was so upset with myself. I'm a CAREFUL driver dammit, this is the first blemish on my record. I was going up a street in a very industrial area and every stop was a 4-way stop and I was looking for the street numbers on the buildings because I was trying to find the daycare (why I wasn't using the GPS on my phone and/or car, I don't know). I came to the (what I thought) was a 4 way stop and apparently it wasn't. I didn't yield and a lady plowed right into the side of my car. Poor Jay, he had to watch it all from his car right behind me. I'm fine, just a little sore. My car, not so much. The other lady's car, totaled. The adjuster said it was like $10k worth of damage on my car and it's going to take 2 to 3 weeks to fix. Ugh, my beautiful new car. I'm glad I was in the new car instead of the mustang!!! </div>
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This is why I had to break down and wear the maternity jeans. I was worried about being sore so I wanted to wear the loosest thing I had to work the next day. It wasn't too bad but Tylenol sucks. It could've been MUCH worse so I'm very lucky. I was in a very industrial area so it could've been an 18 wheeler instead of a Toyota Venza and also I could've been by myself instead of having Jay there with me. My pimpin rental is a Dodge Caravan. I will be trading it in very shortly though. I'm not rocking the minivan for another 15 days. </div>
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Well it's time to start packing. We only have 2 weekends to pack before we move because we are going back to Oxford the weekend before we move. I'm so excited, I <i>can't wait</i> to get out of this apartment. I feel like everything has been put on hold until we move. When we get in there I can figure out what dimensions are where and what I need, etc, etc. Plus NO MORE STAIRS!!!! YEAH!!!!</div>
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My next appointment is on October 4th. I have to take the blood sugar test. Looking forward to that, not really. BUT I do get to have an ultrasound, which I love. My co-workers have decided to play the game of feed the pregnant lady. They bring me cake, etc. They've picked up on the fact that sweets are now irresistible to me, especially chocolate cake. Do you know how hard that is to resist? Baby Hawk likes cake, she takes after her Daddy on that. I'm going to have to nip the sweet feedings in the bud. It seems like everyone is always having a damn birthday. </div>
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We are down to two names. I'm hoping Jay will break soon, he broke on the other one he was so adamant about, so I just need to wait him out. That's my game plan. I'm pretty hard headed, so he's no match for me...(insert evil laugh). Although, his patience and waiting skills are legendary. This shall be an epic battle. We both call her by the names we want so she will be very confused by the time she gets here. </div>
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kendrickkellihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06686346348508580480noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9162599196279308423.post-34705615275652013732012-09-06T18:08:00.002-07:002012-09-06T18:08:18.860-07:006 months down, 3 to go Had an appointment today. 24 weeks and all is well. <br />
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My BP is good, I didn't gain any weight this month (which is amazing to me) and her heartbeat was 160. No sonogram today, he just listened to the heartbeat and measured my stomach, I've grown some centimeters but I can't remember how much. Had a small moment when he couldn't find the heartbeat but I should have told him she was more towards my back or at least that is where she is kicking, there and my lower intestines/bladder. He found her and said it was nice and strong. He says I'm doing great but I'm sure he says that to all the ladies :)<br />
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Next month I do get to have an ultrasound and have to take the glucose test. I'm NOT looking forward to that. I've taken that drink before and almost gagged, plus I have to sit there for an hour. I guess I'll need to bring a book! Oh well, I gotta do it.<br />
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There is a lot going on right now. I've started the daycare search process. We've looked at one and have an appointment with another on Monday. I'm going to look at 3 and unless the others are a good bit cheaper I'm probably going to get on the "waiting list" for the 1st one. Most of the people reading this have already heard about it but it's Willy Wonka's wonderland for babies. It's incredibly expensive but looks like everything out here is or at least the ones I feel comfortable leaving my baby with.<br />
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After I'm done and have made a decision on the daycare thing, I'm moving on the pediatrician. I got some recommendations from the doctor today, I've just got to figure out who's insurance is cheaper and who's in what network.<br />
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Jay has been put totally in charge of the move, I'm leaving it up to him. I can't do everything although it's driving me nuts to give up planning control. I've warned him that his legendary procrastination skills will not work for this move, he has to book movers soon, etc, etc. or he will be moving all by himself :) To his credit though, he has already started packing us up and getting quotes. If you knew the stories, you would be impressed with this.<br />
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All of this has just got me very nervous about money. It seems that EVERYTHING is getting more expensive and is happening simultaneously with my work getting harder and harder to make money and more stressful. I know it will all work out and there are people who've made it way worse off than us but I've been dirt poor and in a place where all I could afford was Ramens and Totinos, I don't want to go back there. Whatever happens I know we are going to be okay. I've been so careful and cautious these last couple of years in trying to get us out of that place, all of this extra expense seems like we are headed on a freight train back. I'm sure it's just me being overly anxious. Your money anxieties triple when you work commission. Jay and my co-workers are all over me about stress and working too much. Bad timing that my work has gotten more stressful than it's EVER been right when I get pregnant. They should have consulted with me and my family planning goals before making their decisions, I am that important after all :) I worked 12.5 hours the day before we left to go home. None of them were pleased, I was so exhausted I could barely see straight. I won't do it again, because I've taken so much crap about it and I know it's not good for me. I've limited myself to 30 extra mins a day and then I just have to get up and leave.<br />
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I've also got some kind of overwhelming urge to have everything done with the apartment/baby room before December. I'm having to keep myself from buying stuff too early because I don't even know what is going to fit and what isn't in the new apartment. But I just want to get it taken care of already. I think it's a combination of I'm excited to be somewhere new and I don't want to have to deal with this in December. I've also been trashing a lot of things in our house that we don't use.<br />
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I've dragged Jay to furniture stores, etc. By the way, if you want some afternoon entertainment you should "big purchase" shop with me and Jay. Two opinionated, analytical people who don't like to drop a lot of cash at one sitting shouldn't be allowed to shop together. At one point, one of the furniture people said, "I think you two have seen just about everything in here". This is because we circle the store and debate our opinions...LOL...you know, the pros and cons, and try to convince the other that we are right. Then at some point Jay just says "Get whatever you want" and then I get really mad because I know he's shut down and he's done. I want your opinion dammit and I want you to tell me and argue with me as to why mine is wrong.<br />
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We signed up for the "6 week" course of baby/birth education. I would say after my attempt at swaddling a paper towel roll this last weekend, I might need it or the poor baby might get hurt :)<br />
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That's all for now. Talk to you later.<br />
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<br />kendrickkellihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06686346348508580480noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9162599196279308423.post-21260302621472395552012-08-13T16:43:00.000-07:002012-08-13T16:43:08.822-07:00Girl TalkWell it's week 21 and it's a girl. I believe that most of the people that read this already know this though. I didn't care either way, but am a little relieved. I know girls, I do not know boys. I should've known with so many girls on my side of the family and so many on Jay's, we didn't have a shot at a boy. Now the great name debate will commence. It's going to end up being like the couch, we disagreed so much by the time we found one that was acceptable to both of us, we jumped on it.<br />
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This is going to sound absolutely nuts but I still don't think this feels 100% real to me. I'm slowly and cautiously talking about it more, getting more excited/nervous about it but for some reason it doesn't feel like it's really happening. I don't know what it's going to take to officially set in, it may never set in. I mean, I'm getting bigger, I started feeling little what I assume are kicks every once in awhile and I'm hungrier than I've ever been but it still feels like I'm in some kind of a dream and I'm going to wake up. I kept looking at the sonogram pictures and thinking, that's really in there? Are we sure? There is one where she is looking right at us, and it just seems so odd to me. This has been very hard for Jay to understand.<br />
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All other things at the doctor were good except......I gained 6 lbs. I was very upset, yes...yes...I know there are other people that have gained a lot more weight than I have at this point but I just have this number looming in my head that I can't gain more than this amount. I will not make it, I know but it's still upsetting. Jay got upset with me because I was getting so upset about the weight. He said I cared more about that than finding out it was a girl. That's not true at all. I was excited but I was also mad at myself. Plus this plays back to the it's not 100% real thing, it's all such an outer body experience to me it's hard for me to express excitement. Before we went in, he asked me to act a little more emotional than just saying "That's cool" when we found out, like I did last time. This in turn made me more self conscious and I just started rambling in the room and felt weird. <br />
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This last month, I completely let it all go and have eaten what I wanted to and what was convenient. I've developed a definite sweet tooth. I would prefer to eat sweets over anything right now but I'm not giving in as much as I want to. Thank the lord there isn't a dairy queen anywhere around me because their damn commercials make me salivate and they seem to sponsor everything out here. This next month, with the exceptions of trips home, we've got to rein it in. It's not good for us or the baby.<br />
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Blood pressure was perfect again, he said that all of her functions such as heart, kidneys, etc looked good. I started feeling little bubbles, more at night than anytime, she seems to be more active then or maybe I'm not busy selling loans or doing anything else that I actually feel it.<br />
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We have a new apartment, and I'm excited. I've literally started counting the days on the stairs. I hate them. I can't decide what to do about the baby's room though. I want to try to put some kind of bed/couch/futon/daybed type deal in there for when people visit, but then I think I'll just get a really nice blow up mattress since people rarely visit us anyway. Don't know what to do but I've got some time to figure it out. One things for sure, the baby's room faces east, so I will be buying blackout curtains!!<br />
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That's all I've got right now. Talk to you later. <br />
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<br />kendrickkellihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06686346348508580480noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9162599196279308423.post-88712515947695866502012-07-28T16:34:00.000-07:002012-07-28T16:34:00.460-07:00SolitudeThis weekend it's just me, well sort of. This will probably be the last time I'll be completely by myself and free to do whatever I feel like for a very long time. So what have a done, NOTHING :)<div>
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I've taken a nap, watched a lot of television, re-watched one of my favorite movies and bought myself a little thing of my all time favorite ice cream, Ben and Jerry's Dublin Mudslide. Apparently the baby likes it too! I would take a bath in it if I could. <span style="background-color: white;">Tonight I might play with some makeup (one of my favorite hobbies in college), take a long hot shower, deep condition my hair and rent a movie through On Demand. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;">In college, Jay worked Friday nights. Almost every friday night he was at work. I spent many of those nights just like this, doing what I wanted to do and eating things Jay refused to eat. I miss those nights. They come around only once or twice a year now and soon it will be probably be even less. Don't get me wrong I'm excited about the future and having someone to take care of but I know I need to cherish the solitude of this weekend. I only wish I didn't share a building with someone because I would love to be able to sing really loud like I used to in high school. I guess I always have the car for that.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;">This week:</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;">Nothing much happened this week except for me expanding. I broke down and bought one of those fabric bands that will "extend" the life of your pants. I don't need it yet, but I can tell it's coming and at least I'll already have it here when I do. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;">Last weekend I had kind of a mini meltdown. Well, not really a meltdown, I just cried, which has become a common occurrence so I guess you could say it was a normal day. I started looking into the actual "having" the baby part. It freaked me out a little bit. I would like someone to knock me out and wake me up when it's over. I seem to recall my mother in law saying that happened with her first child, can we go back to those days? That would be awesome, my sister in law is perfectly normal so I know it doesn't hurt the baby. Also, what happened to the Dad's waiting outside? I'm not into all this touchy feely, enjoy the experience and let's film and watch it in a mirror thing. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;">I truly do believe it's a miracle, but it's a gross miracle. I would like to bypass the gross part and get to the part where we are holding the baby and it's all cute and stuff. I started crying and told Jay that I had changed my mind and would like to have a baby without actually <i>having</i> a baby....LOL. Of course I haven't but I was just freaked out. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;">Jay is already saying he's not going to cut the cord because that's too gross. I just keep thinking...buddy you better toughen up because you have <b>no idea</b>. I told him he's going to have to or they are going to think he's a weirdo. He says he might pass out...oh geez, I might be better off with him in the waiting room. He seems to think he's somehow going to be in the room with me and miss all of the gross stuff. My husband is delusional.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;">I've never broken anything, been in the hospital, etc, so it all freaks me out. I got on some blog and read about some of the gory details. I shouldn't have. I figured it's better to know than to not know, I immediatly regretted this decision. The pooping and peeing yourself, while plugged up to machines and being numb from the waste down really got to me. Not to mention what they say happens after!! This is not how babies arrive in the story books. Can someone just get me a stork please? </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;">I think I felt a kick, I can't tell. I've felt it a couple of times but it might be gas, who knows. One was towards my lower back, it felt like a very light flick or bubble popping. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;">I did find out about my maternity leave, so I can check that off the list. I just have to decide if I'm going to work up until I have the baby or make a scheduled day my last day. I guess I'll have to wait and see how thing progress, that might be a decision I can't make until November. I also am going to have to decide how long I'm going to take. I can take 12 weeks, how much of those I get paid is up to short term disability. More than likely it will be 6 weeks paid though. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;">A large part of me wants to take the full 12 weeks but I'm a sales person, I don't make diddly doo if I'm not in my seat at work selling mortgages. It's going to take me at least 3 months to rebuild everything when I get back and start making money again so if I take the full 12 weeks, I might not start making money again until June of next year! I do get a base pay but it's less than what the part time gas station clerk makes so I won't be totally without. We shall see. It's probably going to depend on the daycare situation too, I might not be able to take a baby that's two months old. I guess I need to start working on that. I need to start googling best daycares in the metroplex. I wish I could pay someone to do the research for me, also I need someone to grocery shop and clean the house too :) They also need to perform these services for free. Please let me know if you know anyone?</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;">Decisions, decisions. It'll all work out though. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;"><br /></span></div>kendrickkellihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06686346348508580480noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9162599196279308423.post-54543524447772928162012-07-21T11:41:00.000-07:002012-07-21T11:41:01.997-07:0017 weeks, almost 18On Tuesday I will be 18 weeks. Almost half way through. Went to the doctor at 16 weeks and everything is fine. I heard the heartbeat, which was very reassuring. My blood pressure is perfect and I lost one pound. My ankle hurts but he thinks it's just my ligaments stretching, I'm suppose to be watching for swelling though, so far there is none.<br />
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I still don't feel like this is 100% real, I'm sure it will be when I start getting kicked in the gut. My pants are starting to get tight and I constantly have to pee but everything else is the pretty much the same. Man, do I long for the nights I didn't have to get up twice to pee. Sleeping has also gotten uncomfortable. I'm a stomach sleeper so getting used to sleeping on my side or back has been an adjustment. Also, the stairs...don't know how much longer I can do the 3 flights of stairs, I'm not sure why but they wind me more than they ever have before. I am beginning to HATE them.<br />
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I've read I'm going to experience a growth spurt in the next couple of weeks, I hope not. <span style="background-color: white;">I'm longing to be one of those women that you can't tell are pregnant the whole way through. Yes, I know this is a delusional thought. </span><span style="background-color: white;">My doctor only wants me to gain between 15 to 20 lbs this whole process, this will be tough. So far I'm -2 in the whole process but I'm worried about the growth spurt. This number sits in my mind constantly. I know I'll be fine if I go over, but I don't want to. I DO NOT deprive myself or diet, I know I'm not suppose to do that but I'm constantly thinking and worrying about gaining too much weight. </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white;">Eating right.....I was doing good, this last two weeks has been a <b>complete</b> derailment though. I will have to get back to being better. Breakfast is my best meal, I have all of the major food groups, nothing that is bad for me and it holds me off for awhile. The rest of the day, not so much. If I really want something bad for me, I've been buying it and sharing it with others. That way I don't eat all of it, it seems to be sweets are becoming my downfall. About once a week, I will break down and have a chocolate chip cookie, cupcake or something of that nature. I also allow myself one coca cola a week and one Ham, Egg and Cheese Crossanwich a week (these are the things that I love most right now). I fear the people who eat lunch and dinner with me will suffer in their waistlines.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white;">We find out what the baby is on August 9th. At least, I hope we do. They are doing the full ultrasound to check all of the baby's functions, like kidneys, heart, etc. I honestly do not care what it is. I wish I did have a preference. For some reason I feel like it's a boy, but I have no reasoning behind this feeling. I think a girl would be easier. I'm used to girls; I have a lot of stuff waiting for me if it's a girl but I don't know. As long as it's a beautiful healthy baby I really don't care. </span><br />
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Not sure if we are going to tell anyone about the sex of the baby yet. I think it would be fun to hold everyone in suspense!!! I can hear my mother, Liz and all of the sisters and sister-in-laws objections right now as they are reading this!!! Not to mention my co-workers. (Insert evil laugh here) We have to keep some surprises right and since most people already know our favorite names, what else is there?<br />
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<br />kendrickkellihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06686346348508580480noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9162599196279308423.post-46783106499799943062012-07-21T11:00:00.001-07:002012-07-21T11:00:37.239-07:00Starting a BlogI'm creating this blog so I don't have to email and people can read at their leisure. I don't know how much I will keep up with it but I'm going to try.<br />
I'm probably going to keep this blog to stuff about the baby but I'm sure I'll want to rant about something along the way. Since this (the baby) is such a new experience for me, I thought I would chronicle it.<br />
I'm indecisive and technologically challenged so this won't be the prettiest blog ever but it will serve it's purpose :) I'll probably change the background weekly because I can't decide. <br />
<br />kendrickkellihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06686346348508580480noreply@blogger.com0