Well it's week 21 and it's a girl. I believe that most of the people that read this already know this though. I didn't care either way, but am a little relieved. I know girls, I do not know boys. I should've known with so many girls on my side of the family and so many on Jay's, we didn't have a shot at a boy. Now the great name debate will commence. It's going to end up being like the couch, we disagreed so much by the time we found one that was acceptable to both of us, we jumped on it.
This is going to sound absolutely nuts but I still don't think this feels 100% real to me. I'm slowly and cautiously talking about it more, getting more excited/nervous about it but for some reason it doesn't feel like it's really happening. I don't know what it's going to take to officially set in, it may never set in. I mean, I'm getting bigger, I started feeling little what I assume are kicks every once in awhile and I'm hungrier than I've ever been but it still feels like I'm in some kind of a dream and I'm going to wake up. I kept looking at the sonogram pictures and thinking, that's really in there? Are we sure? There is one where she is looking right at us, and it just seems so odd to me. This has been very hard for Jay to understand.
All other things at the doctor were good except......I gained 6 lbs. I was very upset, yes...yes...I know there are other people that have gained a lot more weight than I have at this point but I just have this number looming in my head that I can't gain more than this amount. I will not make it, I know but it's still upsetting. Jay got upset with me because I was getting so upset about the weight. He said I cared more about that than finding out it was a girl. That's not true at all. I was excited but I was also mad at myself. Plus this plays back to the it's not 100% real thing, it's all such an outer body experience to me it's hard for me to express excitement. Before we went in, he asked me to act a little more emotional than just saying "That's cool" when we found out, like I did last time. This in turn made me more self conscious and I just started rambling in the room and felt weird.
This last month, I completely let it all go and have eaten what I wanted to and what was convenient. I've developed a definite sweet tooth. I would prefer to eat sweets over anything right now but I'm not giving in as much as I want to. Thank the lord there isn't a dairy queen anywhere around me because their damn commercials make me salivate and they seem to sponsor everything out here. This next month, with the exceptions of trips home, we've got to rein it in. It's not good for us or the baby.
Blood pressure was perfect again, he said that all of her functions such as heart, kidneys, etc looked good. I started feeling little bubbles, more at night than anytime, she seems to be more active then or maybe I'm not busy selling loans or doing anything else that I actually feel it.
We have a new apartment, and I'm excited. I've literally started counting the days on the stairs. I hate them. I can't decide what to do about the baby's room though. I want to try to put some kind of bed/couch/futon/daybed type deal in there for when people visit, but then I think I'll just get a really nice blow up mattress since people rarely visit us anyway. Don't know what to do but I've got some time to figure it out. One things for sure, the baby's room faces east, so I will be buying blackout curtains!!
That's all I've got right now. Talk to you later.