Monday, December 10, 2012

Waiting is the hardest part

Doc appointment today. Nothing new. Still saying that it's probably going to be the 18th. I have one last appointment next Monday for an ultrasound and he will make his final decision but I think he's pretty much set on the 18th if it doesn't happen sooner.

She hasn't dropped. In fact for the non-stress test today her heartbeat was way above my belly button. I don't know what she's doing in there, the last ultrasound her head was in my lower abdomen so I can't imagine how she's positioned. She scared me a little today or was being the complete stubborn baby that she is destined to be because it took 3 nurses and the doctor to find her heartbeat. I kept saying, well I know she's in there...believe me. They found her but I'm going to have a bruise where I had to push the monitor into my stomach to get the heartbeat.

He warned me that as of right now I'm not showing signs that I'm ready to give birth yet so it might be difficult to deliver vaginally if nothing changes in the next week. I told him I really really didn't want a c-section but if we have to, of course I would do whatever is necessary. He said we could wait past the 18th but he really doesn't want to go past the 39th week since I have gestational diabetes. So we are going to give it the old college try with induction and then if my body just doesn't want to cooperate we will have to do a c-section. That's just how it's going to have to be, in his words. :( double frowny face :( :(

I'm mainly being a big scardy cat because I've never even been in the hospital much less had surgery and it takes my body about a month to get rid of a bruise, what is surgery going to do to it? It's not going to be pretty, let me tell you, not pretty AT ALL. None of the options are going to be pretty but I think the c-section will be much worse than a regular delivery.

I now understand what they were saying in all of those blogs/books/etc about the home stretch of pregnancy. There is NOTHING glorious about this time.  When you've actually considered using the portable wheelchair at the grocery store and wondered if you would be judged, or you've sat in the car while out shopping to "conserve" your feet, or you've asked your husband to spot check your legs and make sure you didn't miss a spot while shaving and or had him tie your tennis shoes it's pretty much time to give up. Don't even get me started about my poor feet, I was embarrassed to go in the salon because I haven't been able to keep up with them. They had to get the "heavy" equipment out- not kidding.  Also when I'm by myself, this apartment is totally a pants optional area, and usually I opt out. LOL.

Some days are better than others but geez. I thought people were exaggerating. I've had a few bumps along the way with the progesterone and diabetes but I think I've had a relatively easy pregnancy. I haven't been too moody, I've been able to work a lot and get a lot done and haven't really been too uncomfortable until about 2 weeks ago and it's all been downhill since then.

Last day at work is Friday. Yeah!!!!!!!! I'm pretty much checked out this week but trying to keep my head down and deal with emails and problems as they come up. It's pretty hard to be motivated. My co-workers have a pool going on the birth date. Most of them think I'm going to be so stressed out on Friday trying to wrap everything up that I'll go into labor on Saturday. My friend, Tommy, that sits next to me says he saw me before I went on my trip to Europe and that was only for 2 weeks, this is for 11. He might have a point, but I'm trying to stay super calm about it :)

I think I've done as much as I possibly can do. I'm pretty much packed for the both of us. I'm probably overpacked for her.  There are things I use every day that I obviously can't pack but I've made a list of them so I don't forget. If I forget something Jay can come home and get it or there is a Target next to the hospital so we will be fine. He's not packed but not really sure what he would need besides a change of clothes?

The house is decent and I'm trying to keep up with it. The car seat is installed. The room is pretty much done or as done as it's getting right now. Her clothes are washed for the most part. Lists are made for who's in charge of calling who and who to call for work/pay purposes after I deliver. Pediatrician is picked. What else am I missing?

If she hasn't come by this weekend, Jay and I are going to go out to a nice dinner (just not too nice because Kelli doesn't have any really dressy maternity clothes). I'm not sure if he's aware of this plan or not but we are going to proceed like he is :) I figure we aren't going to be to do go out for a long time and after 15 years by ourselves, our lives are about to change forever. I'm not sure if we are ready for it. We are in such a routine and are so comfortable with how things are, it's going to be interesting.

Until next week!!!!


  1. I totally understand the "pants optional" thing. The last month before Becky was born I had only one pair of pants I could fit into(& they were very, VERY tight). I kept them on the couch in the living room in case somebody knocked on the door! Just think though, in less than two weeks it will all be over and "Baby Hawk" will be here! You & Jay are going to be awesome parents to an awesome little girl! We are so excited!

  2. I'm so excited that I can hardly contain myself! I know there are lots of strange things happening - to your body, to your life and to your emotions... but y'all are going to be GREAT! If it helps any, my kids (and Malinda's and Robyn's)LOVE y'all! Malinda even calls you the baby whisperer... you'll do great. It's an adjustment. At first it's just the sleep portion of your life. But, it will be an adjustment to have this 3rd little person with you at all times. But, (and I know you know this already) it's TOTALLY worth it! Love y'all!