Ellie is 9 weeks old as of yesterday. We are both doing pretty good.
So much has changed in this last month, even in this last week. I think it's only going to pick up the pace from here.
She giggled for the first time today. It was in her sleep. My heart melted a little. All I want now is for her to do it again. She's cried so much in the last 2 months it's a warm and welcome sound.
I'm starting prepare myself for going back to work. I REALLY don't want to go but there are some things in life in which we have no choice. In this matter I have no choice. Part of me wishes so badly that Jay had his "career job" now and was making a good salary so I could stay. Even then we would have to make sacrifices because of our student loan debt but I think I could make those.
I know that once the first couple of weeks pass this can only be a good thing. She's going to be playing with other kids, in a routine, there are no TVs, she's going to be on a curriculum-- I probably couldn't even do that. I'm going to be back amongst adults and in a routine as well. This is going to be good. Or at least that is what I'm telling myself. Every maternal instinct in me wants to be with her though and be in charge of her development and protect her but that is not a part of our story. It's just not in the cards unless I win the lottery.
We are working really really hard on a schedule. I don't know why because it's probably all going to change with the daycare situation. She still isn't sleeping through the night, which I believe that most babies this age aren't. I want to slap all of those women on the message boards who say that their babies don't cry and have been sleeping through the night since the beginning. Ugh. There were two nights in a row where she slept for 7 hours straight and I was the happiest person on the planet probably. She just tricked me with that. Her normal span is about a 5 hour and then she wakes and then another 2 or 3 hour span. She has such trouble with the startle reflex so she has to be swaddled and then when she is swaddled she wants out of it and squirms the whole night. If I put her in horizontal she usually always is vertical by the time I pick her up.
I'm hoping this startle reflex will go away soon because she's getting too big and strong for swaddling. Once that goes away we are in for some long nights! I have to say, and this is kind of cruel, but I'm going to be happy when Jay has to start helping with the night shifts. Right now he only handles about 2 on the weekends and that's it. He has no clue. Once I go back to work, it's going to be an equal opportunity night shift situation whether he likes it or not.
Another thing she is going through right now is only being quite when I'm holding her. I feel bad for Jay, it's so sad. He can barely hold her without her crying. I don't know why we've moved into this faze or how we get out of it. She will scream until she's handed to me and then shuts up. I'm sure she will have a faze when she only wants Daddy but right now this is exhausting and frustrating for me! My father came to visit and she was good for the most part but she had to be handed to me a couple of times.
We start physical therapy next Tuesday. She has torticollis. I think its going to be fine but she's going to HATE it at first. The first appointment is 1 to 2 hours long in her fussy time of the day so I'm looking forward to it...NOT. Jay is taking off and going with me so we can both watch and see what kind of stretches she's going to need to be doing. I'm not sure how involved this is going to be, I hope not too much. I'm not sure work is going to like me taking off more than once a week. I'm hoping we won't have to go back after the first visit but I'm sure that's just a pipe dream.
On my front of things I'm doing good. About two weeks ago my incision opened up on the edge which was pretty painful. It's on its way back to healing. You know they tell you not to do too much, they really mean it. Its not a joke. I had all of these glorious plans of getting into a workout routine and working off some of this weight while I was out of work and home with her. I don't think that working out is part of the c-section recovery plan as I've found out. LOL. Oh well, the plans will have to wait.
That's all I know right now. She now weighs basically 13 lbs, 23 and a half inches long and her head is 16 inches around, I think. She's a big baby. She has new hair coming in which is kind of a weird blonde/light brown/red looking hair. Her head is kind of odd right now because she has dark and light hair on it. It looks dark in most lights but in pics and in the sunlight you can see all of the different colors.
We are going home in two weekends and I can't wait for her to meet all of her Aunts, Uncles and cousins. I think her 5 aunts and 2 grandmothers are about to burst wanting to see her.
Thursday, February 21, 2013
Wednesday, January 16, 2013
1 month report
Ellie turned 1 month yesterday. I can't believe we are at the 4 week mark!
We are learning more about each other each day. I can't wait until she starts laughing and playing. Right now she smiles on occasion, like a real smile..not a gas smile. It's the sweetest smile ever (I'm sure every parent says that). She likes this mirror that I bought her. It's bright colors with zebra print trim. She will stare at that for about 15 to 20 mins which I think is good for a newborn. She follows things for just a second and I have this book called white on black. Its a black book with white shapes, like a bottle or bird, she likes that too. I'm trying to read/or tell her a story every day and let her listen to music at least an hour a day instead of the TV. She's going to have a very diverse music knowledge. We go from Beyonce to Beach Boys to the Mamas and the Papas to The Beatles to Aretha Franklin.
There is this one song that I went through a span of listening to every single morning on the way to work and singing at the top of my lungs. It's Selena's, I could fall in love, I swear to you it calms her down. I don't know if she can recognize it from the womb or it's just a coincidence but one day she was screaming I would turn the song on and she would shut up! I tried to get it on tape but I suck at video recording, all I got was her being quite while it was on. It's probably all in my head but I think she remembers.
Since this weekend we've reverted back to our crying games. Poor thing. It's definitely gas related. She wakes up in the middle of a nap screaming and then falls back to sleep. Last night, she pooted, burped and sneezed at the same time, it was impressive. It scared her so much you would have thought we were torturing her. I'm sure it hurt a little too.
She stays hopped up on mylicon, mylanta or gripe water. We have a system down. It's mylicon for most occasions, if she's spitting up a good bit we give her the mylanta instead because it's suppose to coat her stomach and esophagus (we use this as a second choice because it has less mylicon in it, then just giving mylicon) and then at night before bed if she's really fussy we give her gripe water. It seems to calm her down a good bit. All of this is as needed, of course. I try not to give her too much. I don't know why it bothers me but it really disturbs me to have her take so much medicine but as my mother says, you want her to feel good not be in pain and if I have something that helps, I should use it.
I've been reading and apparently this fussiness is very common and usually peaks at 6 weeks. I sure hope hers does. The other night Jay asked me when I thought she would stop all of this crying stuff, I said, I don't know but I hope so soon. Then I was thinking, dude you are only dealing with it like 6 hours a day now, you don't even know the half of it and I'm pretty sure we are getting some kind of payback from when he was a baby! There are so many parents out there on blogs who are just as frustrated as we/I am. I take comfort in knowing that I'm not alone. You can hear the desperation in their blogs or posts. I feel their pain. It's so damn irritating and frustrating and then you get mad at yourself for being so irritated because she can't help it. It's a vicious cycle. It'll get better though, I know it will. At least she's not as bad as what they say Jay was like. That's a blessing.
She's eating about 25 to 30 ozs a day now. I think that's a lot for her age but she acts like we are starving her. Damn, formula is expensive! I think we are wasting a lot too. I've got to start watching what we are wasting.
She also is outgrowing the smallest of her clothes :( It's too soon. She's very long so the onesies with the footies are the ones that are getting the closest to being put up.
That's all I've got right now. Here's a picture of her yesterday. She was pretty grumpy so I didn't get many good shots. She always does the best when there is no flash!
We are learning more about each other each day. I can't wait until she starts laughing and playing. Right now she smiles on occasion, like a real smile..not a gas smile. It's the sweetest smile ever (I'm sure every parent says that). She likes this mirror that I bought her. It's bright colors with zebra print trim. She will stare at that for about 15 to 20 mins which I think is good for a newborn. She follows things for just a second and I have this book called white on black. Its a black book with white shapes, like a bottle or bird, she likes that too. I'm trying to read/or tell her a story every day and let her listen to music at least an hour a day instead of the TV. She's going to have a very diverse music knowledge. We go from Beyonce to Beach Boys to the Mamas and the Papas to The Beatles to Aretha Franklin.
There is this one song that I went through a span of listening to every single morning on the way to work and singing at the top of my lungs. It's Selena's, I could fall in love, I swear to you it calms her down. I don't know if she can recognize it from the womb or it's just a coincidence but one day she was screaming I would turn the song on and she would shut up! I tried to get it on tape but I suck at video recording, all I got was her being quite while it was on. It's probably all in my head but I think she remembers.
Since this weekend we've reverted back to our crying games. Poor thing. It's definitely gas related. She wakes up in the middle of a nap screaming and then falls back to sleep. Last night, she pooted, burped and sneezed at the same time, it was impressive. It scared her so much you would have thought we were torturing her. I'm sure it hurt a little too.
She stays hopped up on mylicon, mylanta or gripe water. We have a system down. It's mylicon for most occasions, if she's spitting up a good bit we give her the mylanta instead because it's suppose to coat her stomach and esophagus (we use this as a second choice because it has less mylicon in it, then just giving mylicon) and then at night before bed if she's really fussy we give her gripe water. It seems to calm her down a good bit. All of this is as needed, of course. I try not to give her too much. I don't know why it bothers me but it really disturbs me to have her take so much medicine but as my mother says, you want her to feel good not be in pain and if I have something that helps, I should use it.
I've been reading and apparently this fussiness is very common and usually peaks at 6 weeks. I sure hope hers does. The other night Jay asked me when I thought she would stop all of this crying stuff, I said, I don't know but I hope so soon. Then I was thinking, dude you are only dealing with it like 6 hours a day now, you don't even know the half of it and I'm pretty sure we are getting some kind of payback from when he was a baby! There are so many parents out there on blogs who are just as frustrated as we/I am. I take comfort in knowing that I'm not alone. You can hear the desperation in their blogs or posts. I feel their pain. It's so damn irritating and frustrating and then you get mad at yourself for being so irritated because she can't help it. It's a vicious cycle. It'll get better though, I know it will. At least she's not as bad as what they say Jay was like. That's a blessing.
She's eating about 25 to 30 ozs a day now. I think that's a lot for her age but she acts like we are starving her. Damn, formula is expensive! I think we are wasting a lot too. I've got to start watching what we are wasting.
She also is outgrowing the smallest of her clothes :( It's too soon. She's very long so the onesies with the footies are the ones that are getting the closest to being put up.
That's all I've got right now. Here's a picture of her yesterday. She was pretty grumpy so I didn't get many good shots. She always does the best when there is no flash!
Thursday, January 10, 2013
The Sweetest Thing
She's here!!
Sorry it's been awhile, I've been kind of busy. This will be long so settle in.
Eleanor Louise Hawkins made her debut on 12/18/12 at 5:32 p.m. via c-section. She's just beautiful. Everything that they say happens when your baby is born is not a cliche...it happens. A whole chamber of my heart that I did not know existed has filled up with love. I didn't know you could love something so much. It's terrifying and wonderful all at the same time. To quote the song below, my heart is now ruined for the rest of all time.
What's in a name?
Her name was finally revealed. I can't believe I didn't slip. Back in August, my sister Katie, text me and said that I should name her Eleanor and call her Norah. That's what started the Eleanor discussion. Jay didn't like it at first so I started calling her that just to mess with him. At that time he was DEAD SET on Margaret/Maggie. I have a first cousin named Margaret/Maggie and just couldn't do it. So Eleanor started to grow on him. It met all of our requirements, it was traditional, not in the top 25, had tons of possible nicknames, a Kardashian hadn't used it yet, it was a royal name (wasn't a requirement but that's where Jay wanted to start when we started looking) and it just happened to be the name of one of my favorite characters in one of my favorite Jane Austen movies- Sense and Sensibility, it was also a name in a Beatles song (something that I kept going to for reference because both of our fathers love the Beatles so much) .
So when he decided that this was his favorite, I started having reservations, mainly because he wanted her nickname to be Ellie. That sounds way too much like Kelli. I can just see a lifetime of someone calling our names and the other going, "did you call me?". I really didn't want that but in the end he's the one thats going to have to answer that question the most so if he's okay with it, I guess I am. So we were still undecided until our last trip home. I was leaning towards it but just still didn't know.
Then I guess what put me over the edge was a song. Music is such an important part of my life and I often turn to music for my answers. It was only fitting that a song led me to my conclusion.
One of our favorite bands released their new album in late September/early October. After about a week or two of trying to convince me that Eleanor was the name. Jay had been listening to the new CD at work and came home one day and said there was a song on there that one of them had written for their daughter and her name was Eleanor and it was a sign. I just kind of wrote it off. Then on one of our trips home Jay played it for me. It was so beautiful, I knew it was time to give up and give in. It was a sign. This band is about one of 5 that we actually agree on and we pilgrimaged to Colorado for my 30th birthday to their concert. It had to be a sign. The universe was telling us to name her Eleanor. Below is a link to the song.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sncq9hZg9AQ
As for her middle name. That wasn't decided on until the week of her birth. I've only truly known two grandmother type figures in my life. My great-grandmother, Nanny, who died when I was in the 6th grade, and Jay's grandmother, who I only knew for a short time but was so loving and special to me and obviously Jay. She was the kind of grandmother everyone who doesn't have one wishes they did, she reminded me of Nanny. One of my grandmothers died when I was very young and the other was not the grandmothering type. While I didn't spend a WHOLE lot of time with my Nanny, she was still all I've really had growing up. Well they both share the name Louise. My great-grandmother's first name, Jay's grandmother's middle name. I really really wanted to use it but it had already been used by Jay's sister on our niece. We were so torn. Finally after combing the name book and not finding anything we liked as much and had as much meaning, we decided to ask Jay's sister. She gave us her blessing and now it's history. So Thank You Robyn, I wouldn't have been able to use it if you hadn't have said it was okay.
Okay so now you know how we got to the name.
She's a beautiful little girl. I'm sure I'm just a little biased. She looks like her Dad from the nose up and has my mouth and chin. I think her eyes are going to be blue. Jay thinks that they are turning Hazel like his. We shall see.
We are learning more about each other each day. She's been a little fussy but we are working through it. It gets better every day. The poor thing has such a problem with gas. We are doing everything possible for it but it's just not enough sometimes. She's pretty pleasant but she has about 2 or 3 hours a day when she's just fussy and there is nothing we can do to help her. Her birth weight was 8 lbs, as of last week she was already 9 lbs and I think she's gained some since then. She is VERY serious about eating. I would expect nothing less of my daugher. She's got a very long body and short legs, just like her Dad. The newborn clothes are starting to get a little too short for her.
So far the biggest disappointment has been the feeding part. I wish I had been more educated and prepared for the breastfeeding part of it. I knew the bare minimum going in and should've armed myself with more knowledge. She started to refusing to breastfeed the night before we came home from the hospital. She would buck back and scream at the top of her lungs. The nurses were frustrated just like I was. The pediatrician said she wasn't getting enough and to supplement with formula until my milk came in. Well, it never came in. Looking back and researching, there were some things I should have been doing to help it come in that I wasn't and didn't know about but it's too late now. She's eating around 25 to 28 oz a day now, even if I started back today I wouldn't be able to keep upI can't keep with that. I was only going to breastfeed for about 8 weeks but I still am disappointed that I didn't make it happen. At least she got about 3 days of the colostrum, though. I feel like I've let her down somehow.
I'm doing great. I have days that I think I can do more than I can and I regret it later. I've never dealt with healing a surgery wound before so I don't know quite how to act. I feel so bad when Jay has to do everything and quite frankly sometimes I just want it done my way (when I say this, I'm mainly referring to the loading of the dishwasher, I'm a little particular about it) :)
I've been pretty emotional. I'm sure it's the hormones and lack of sleep. I keep thinking, man I can't wait until we get back to normal and then I realize there is no old normal anymore. I knew this going in but it's really setting in now. Jay and I were in such a routine and rhythm now it's all been turned upside down. It's a good upside down but for someone who doesn't like change it's an adjustment and I find myself already nostalgic for being able to stop and do whatever I want.
I also for whatever reason last week found myself nostalgic for being pregnant. There was a lot to hate about it but I missed her being there for some reason. When I was pregnant she only relied on me and no one else, now anyone can take care of her and I have to share her with the world. It's a selfish thought, I know. Everyone on the internet says it's just the hormones and this is normal. I haven't felt that way this week but it was something that I've been going through.
Last but not least, I have a wonderful husband and best friend. Jay has been SO great. I realize that some women are not so lucky and for the life of me don't know how anyone can do this on their own. I have a new found respect for anyone who has. He took off two weeks to be with me, he has done almost everything around the house and all of our errand running. The sweetest thing he's done for us is slept with me on the couch for the first two weeks. She hasn't been going in her pack and play so it's been basically the swing or me for sleeping. So we've been living on the couch in the living room. Well Jay has a REAL problem with waking up. He can't, basically. So because of this, up until this week he's been sleeping close so I won't have to get up and go physically shake him if I need him in the middle of the night. I think that is a sweet gesture. The second night here I was literally standing by him, with Ellie screaming in my arms, yelling his name and I had to shake him several times before he would wake up. It's crazy. The poor guy, he just can't help it. I'm glad one of us is a light sleeper!!
Well I'll try to update more later. Gotta go try to catch some Z's while she is sleeping.
Monday, December 10, 2012
Waiting is the hardest part
Doc appointment today. Nothing new. Still saying that it's probably going to be the 18th. I have one last appointment next Monday for an ultrasound and he will make his final decision but I think he's pretty much set on the 18th if it doesn't happen sooner.
She hasn't dropped. In fact for the non-stress test today her heartbeat was way above my belly button. I don't know what she's doing in there, the last ultrasound her head was in my lower abdomen so I can't imagine how she's positioned. She scared me a little today or was being the complete stubborn baby that she is destined to be because it took 3 nurses and the doctor to find her heartbeat. I kept saying, well I know she's in there...believe me. They found her but I'm going to have a bruise where I had to push the monitor into my stomach to get the heartbeat.
He warned me that as of right now I'm not showing signs that I'm ready to give birth yet so it might be difficult to deliver vaginally if nothing changes in the next week. I told him I really really didn't want a c-section but if we have to, of course I would do whatever is necessary. He said we could wait past the 18th but he really doesn't want to go past the 39th week since I have gestational diabetes. So we are going to give it the old college try with induction and then if my body just doesn't want to cooperate we will have to do a c-section. That's just how it's going to have to be, in his words. :( double frowny face :( :(
I'm mainly being a big scardy cat because I've never even been in the hospital much less had surgery and it takes my body about a month to get rid of a bruise, what is surgery going to do to it? It's not going to be pretty, let me tell you, not pretty AT ALL. None of the options are going to be pretty but I think the c-section will be much worse than a regular delivery.
I now understand what they were saying in all of those blogs/books/etc about the home stretch of pregnancy. There is NOTHING glorious about this time. When you've actually considered using the portable wheelchair at the grocery store and wondered if you would be judged, or you've sat in the car while out shopping to "conserve" your feet, or you've asked your husband to spot check your legs and make sure you didn't miss a spot while shaving and or had him tie your tennis shoes it's pretty much time to give up. Don't even get me started about my poor feet, I was embarrassed to go in the salon because I haven't been able to keep up with them. They had to get the "heavy" equipment out- not kidding. Also when I'm by myself, this apartment is totally a pants optional area, and usually I opt out. LOL.
Some days are better than others but geez. I thought people were exaggerating. I've had a few bumps along the way with the progesterone and diabetes but I think I've had a relatively easy pregnancy. I haven't been too moody, I've been able to work a lot and get a lot done and haven't really been too uncomfortable until about 2 weeks ago and it's all been downhill since then.
Last day at work is Friday. Yeah!!!!!!!! I'm pretty much checked out this week but trying to keep my head down and deal with emails and problems as they come up. It's pretty hard to be motivated. My co-workers have a pool going on the birth date. Most of them think I'm going to be so stressed out on Friday trying to wrap everything up that I'll go into labor on Saturday. My friend, Tommy, that sits next to me says he saw me before I went on my trip to Europe and that was only for 2 weeks, this is for 11. He might have a point, but I'm trying to stay super calm about it :)
I think I've done as much as I possibly can do. I'm pretty much packed for the both of us. I'm probably overpacked for her. There are things I use every day that I obviously can't pack but I've made a list of them so I don't forget. If I forget something Jay can come home and get it or there is a Target next to the hospital so we will be fine. He's not packed but not really sure what he would need besides a change of clothes?
The house is decent and I'm trying to keep up with it. The car seat is installed. The room is pretty much done or as done as it's getting right now. Her clothes are washed for the most part. Lists are made for who's in charge of calling who and who to call for work/pay purposes after I deliver. Pediatrician is picked. What else am I missing?
If she hasn't come by this weekend, Jay and I are going to go out to a nice dinner (just not too nice because Kelli doesn't have any really dressy maternity clothes). I'm not sure if he's aware of this plan or not but we are going to proceed like he is :) I figure we aren't going to be to do go out for a long time and after 15 years by ourselves, our lives are about to change forever. I'm not sure if we are ready for it. We are in such a routine and are so comfortable with how things are, it's going to be interesting.
Until next week!!!!
She hasn't dropped. In fact for the non-stress test today her heartbeat was way above my belly button. I don't know what she's doing in there, the last ultrasound her head was in my lower abdomen so I can't imagine how she's positioned. She scared me a little today or was being the complete stubborn baby that she is destined to be because it took 3 nurses and the doctor to find her heartbeat. I kept saying, well I know she's in there...believe me. They found her but I'm going to have a bruise where I had to push the monitor into my stomach to get the heartbeat.
He warned me that as of right now I'm not showing signs that I'm ready to give birth yet so it might be difficult to deliver vaginally if nothing changes in the next week. I told him I really really didn't want a c-section but if we have to, of course I would do whatever is necessary. He said we could wait past the 18th but he really doesn't want to go past the 39th week since I have gestational diabetes. So we are going to give it the old college try with induction and then if my body just doesn't want to cooperate we will have to do a c-section. That's just how it's going to have to be, in his words. :( double frowny face :( :(
I'm mainly being a big scardy cat because I've never even been in the hospital much less had surgery and it takes my body about a month to get rid of a bruise, what is surgery going to do to it? It's not going to be pretty, let me tell you, not pretty AT ALL. None of the options are going to be pretty but I think the c-section will be much worse than a regular delivery.
I now understand what they were saying in all of those blogs/books/etc about the home stretch of pregnancy. There is NOTHING glorious about this time. When you've actually considered using the portable wheelchair at the grocery store and wondered if you would be judged, or you've sat in the car while out shopping to "conserve" your feet, or you've asked your husband to spot check your legs and make sure you didn't miss a spot while shaving and or had him tie your tennis shoes it's pretty much time to give up. Don't even get me started about my poor feet, I was embarrassed to go in the salon because I haven't been able to keep up with them. They had to get the "heavy" equipment out- not kidding. Also when I'm by myself, this apartment is totally a pants optional area, and usually I opt out. LOL.
Some days are better than others but geez. I thought people were exaggerating. I've had a few bumps along the way with the progesterone and diabetes but I think I've had a relatively easy pregnancy. I haven't been too moody, I've been able to work a lot and get a lot done and haven't really been too uncomfortable until about 2 weeks ago and it's all been downhill since then.
Last day at work is Friday. Yeah!!!!!!!! I'm pretty much checked out this week but trying to keep my head down and deal with emails and problems as they come up. It's pretty hard to be motivated. My co-workers have a pool going on the birth date. Most of them think I'm going to be so stressed out on Friday trying to wrap everything up that I'll go into labor on Saturday. My friend, Tommy, that sits next to me says he saw me before I went on my trip to Europe and that was only for 2 weeks, this is for 11. He might have a point, but I'm trying to stay super calm about it :)
I think I've done as much as I possibly can do. I'm pretty much packed for the both of us. I'm probably overpacked for her. There are things I use every day that I obviously can't pack but I've made a list of them so I don't forget. If I forget something Jay can come home and get it or there is a Target next to the hospital so we will be fine. He's not packed but not really sure what he would need besides a change of clothes?
The house is decent and I'm trying to keep up with it. The car seat is installed. The room is pretty much done or as done as it's getting right now. Her clothes are washed for the most part. Lists are made for who's in charge of calling who and who to call for work/pay purposes after I deliver. Pediatrician is picked. What else am I missing?
If she hasn't come by this weekend, Jay and I are going to go out to a nice dinner (just not too nice because Kelli doesn't have any really dressy maternity clothes). I'm not sure if he's aware of this plan or not but we are going to proceed like he is :) I figure we aren't going to be to do go out for a long time and after 15 years by ourselves, our lives are about to change forever. I'm not sure if we are ready for it. We are in such a routine and are so comfortable with how things are, it's going to be interesting.
Until next week!!!!
Friday, November 23, 2012
Stuff, stuff and more stuff
A lot has happened in the last week and a half.
My friend threw her shower thing that she wanted to throw. It turned out to be okay. There were actually more guys there than girls (I work with a lot of men) and it was very laid back just like I wanted and all of the "non pregnant" people, aka everyone else, had drinks and was very relaxed. I am very grateful and appreciate that I have a friend that would do that for me.
I have some pictures on my phone but they were sent in a stream and not sure how to pick out the ones I don't like vs. the ones I do. One of my friends made a fabulous cake with a little lamb on it. It was DELICIOUS, but I only got like half of a piece. They had stuffed lambs all over the house and it was very very cute. I had told them that I was drawn more towards lambs but wasn't making it a theme in her room or anything so now she has like 4 or 5 stuffed lambs and we bought some pictures with lambs so I guess it is a theme.
I've been on a shopping bonanza this week. I DO NOT like to spend money, especially a lot at one time, but I'm in a really big hurry so it is what it is. I'm ready to get it done so I can rest up the last 2 weeks. We've got pretty much everything now, through the shower, gift cards and things I've been saving up for. I'm just patiently waiting for the furniture to be delivered. I think they are chopping down the wood for it or something. It's ridiculous. It shouldn't take 8 to 10 weeks to get a crib. The changing table and the chair are in. I'm just waiting on the crib and then they are going to deliver them all together.
We've now got a car seat/travel system thing. We've got a swing. All or most of the clothes have been washed. The only thing I'm a little light on is the feeding stuff because I don't really know how all of that is going play out and diapers. I bought the parts to the pump, Jay's coworker let me borrower and I got a bottle starter kit at the shower and bottles from my sister in law so I have stuff. Just not sure how it's all going to play out. On the diapers, someone gave me 3 sample packs of three different kinds so I figure I'll go through those, figure out which one I like and then send Jay to the store for more of those.
The Christmas Tree is up. I've never put it up this early but since we only have 3 to 4 weeks and I want to relax for at least the last 2, we went ahead and did it. Our apartment is getting crowded, so I suggested no tree and Jay said "no, we have to have a tree". So there is some light decorating. We aren't getting presents this year so I don't know why we need a tree. I did buy her one thing. I bought her a rocking horse. She won't be able to use it for a very long time but he was really cute and on sale so I bought it. It will look cute in her room at least. I might end up getting Jay something small, not sure what yet but not sure when I'll have time or be away from him long enough to buy him something. I don't hardly go anyway by myself these days.
Doctor's Appointment on Monday. Just for a non stress test nothing big. I'm getting very uncomfortable. It's harder and harder to get up. Jay actually had to tie my shoes today, how helpless have I become?
My friend threw her shower thing that she wanted to throw. It turned out to be okay. There were actually more guys there than girls (I work with a lot of men) and it was very laid back just like I wanted and all of the "non pregnant" people, aka everyone else, had drinks and was very relaxed. I am very grateful and appreciate that I have a friend that would do that for me.
I have some pictures on my phone but they were sent in a stream and not sure how to pick out the ones I don't like vs. the ones I do. One of my friends made a fabulous cake with a little lamb on it. It was DELICIOUS, but I only got like half of a piece. They had stuffed lambs all over the house and it was very very cute. I had told them that I was drawn more towards lambs but wasn't making it a theme in her room or anything so now she has like 4 or 5 stuffed lambs and we bought some pictures with lambs so I guess it is a theme.
I've been on a shopping bonanza this week. I DO NOT like to spend money, especially a lot at one time, but I'm in a really big hurry so it is what it is. I'm ready to get it done so I can rest up the last 2 weeks. We've got pretty much everything now, through the shower, gift cards and things I've been saving up for. I'm just patiently waiting for the furniture to be delivered. I think they are chopping down the wood for it or something. It's ridiculous. It shouldn't take 8 to 10 weeks to get a crib. The changing table and the chair are in. I'm just waiting on the crib and then they are going to deliver them all together.
We've now got a car seat/travel system thing. We've got a swing. All or most of the clothes have been washed. The only thing I'm a little light on is the feeding stuff because I don't really know how all of that is going play out and diapers. I bought the parts to the pump, Jay's coworker let me borrower and I got a bottle starter kit at the shower and bottles from my sister in law so I have stuff. Just not sure how it's all going to play out. On the diapers, someone gave me 3 sample packs of three different kinds so I figure I'll go through those, figure out which one I like and then send Jay to the store for more of those.
The Christmas Tree is up. I've never put it up this early but since we only have 3 to 4 weeks and I want to relax for at least the last 2, we went ahead and did it. Our apartment is getting crowded, so I suggested no tree and Jay said "no, we have to have a tree". So there is some light decorating. We aren't getting presents this year so I don't know why we need a tree. I did buy her one thing. I bought her a rocking horse. She won't be able to use it for a very long time but he was really cute and on sale so I bought it. It will look cute in her room at least. I might end up getting Jay something small, not sure what yet but not sure when I'll have time or be away from him long enough to buy him something. I don't hardly go anyway by myself these days.
Doctor's Appointment on Monday. Just for a non stress test nothing big. I'm getting very uncomfortable. It's harder and harder to get up. Jay actually had to tie my shoes today, how helpless have I become?
Thursday, November 15, 2012
Commencing Countdown in 5...
Another weekly appointment down. Another ultrasound.
She has finally flipped and is now head down. They say she weighs about 6 lbs, heart rate was 153. I believe that makes her in the 70th percentile on size. I have a little bit of extra amniotic fluid but they said that's probably because of the diabetes and they aren't concerned.
We have appointments scheduled out through December 10th and as we were walking out he said in 3 to 4 weeks we will have her delivered. As conservative as he is though, I think he's going to leave her in here until as late as he possibly can.So I'm thinking sometime between the 10th to the 18th, if I were a betting person and she will be around 8 to 9 lbs. Unless of course she decides on her own to show up early, which I hope she doesn't because I have a lot more to do and not enough time to do it.
I haven't picked a pediatrician yet, I just haven't had time. I really need to get that done. Things have been crazy at work and I'm feeling a lot of self induced pressure to get things done up there. I don't have any of her stuff yet as far as diapers, car seat, swing, furniture, etc. AND most importantly I need a pedicure, dammit. LOL. I've been trying to hold off so they will be fresh for the delivery but my feet are horrible right now. I think diabetes makes your feet look worse or at least mine do. (Yes I am fully aware that no one but me cares about my feet at delivery but I have so many other things to feel insecure about in this delivery process, my feet are one thing I control and make sure that they at least are decent)
I'm starting to get more and more nervous about the whole delivery part. We've been going to prepared childbirth classes. They've been interesting to say the least. I have learned a good bit and feel better than I would have if I had done nothing.
They would be really great if there weren't about 3 couples that are ALL about the PDA. I'm sorry, I know it's a beautiful time and some women love the way they feel when they are pregnant but that doesn't mean that everyone wants you to feel all up on each other and kiss constantly or start making out while we are all on the floor doing breathing exercises. I just really hate PDA, especially in a damn prepared childbirth class. Everyone in there is at least 30 weeks pregnant. Jay said he felt like we were about to be in some kind of weird pregnant lady orgy at one point. I just close my eyes and tell myself..this will be over soon (I think I will be doing that a lot very soon). As much as I hate it, multiply by 10 and that's how much Jay hates it.
We went on a tour of the hospital, it's really nice but I have nothing to compare it to so who knows if where it compares to others. They have the highest level NICU you can have, so that makes me feel better in case something happens.
We also took an Infant/Child CPR class one night and I feel MUCH better about that but also think I might be bad in a high pressure situations, so I hope Jay will remember if there is a crisis.
So the countdown has begun. She will be here soon, I can quit giving myself shots, take some time away from work and we can begin our lives together.
She has finally flipped and is now head down. They say she weighs about 6 lbs, heart rate was 153. I believe that makes her in the 70th percentile on size. I have a little bit of extra amniotic fluid but they said that's probably because of the diabetes and they aren't concerned.
We have appointments scheduled out through December 10th and as we were walking out he said in 3 to 4 weeks we will have her delivered. As conservative as he is though, I think he's going to leave her in here until as late as he possibly can.So I'm thinking sometime between the 10th to the 18th, if I were a betting person and she will be around 8 to 9 lbs. Unless of course she decides on her own to show up early, which I hope she doesn't because I have a lot more to do and not enough time to do it.
I haven't picked a pediatrician yet, I just haven't had time. I really need to get that done. Things have been crazy at work and I'm feeling a lot of self induced pressure to get things done up there. I don't have any of her stuff yet as far as diapers, car seat, swing, furniture, etc. AND most importantly I need a pedicure, dammit. LOL. I've been trying to hold off so they will be fresh for the delivery but my feet are horrible right now. I think diabetes makes your feet look worse or at least mine do. (Yes I am fully aware that no one but me cares about my feet at delivery but I have so many other things to feel insecure about in this delivery process, my feet are one thing I control and make sure that they at least are decent)
I'm starting to get more and more nervous about the whole delivery part. We've been going to prepared childbirth classes. They've been interesting to say the least. I have learned a good bit and feel better than I would have if I had done nothing.
They would be really great if there weren't about 3 couples that are ALL about the PDA. I'm sorry, I know it's a beautiful time and some women love the way they feel when they are pregnant but that doesn't mean that everyone wants you to feel all up on each other and kiss constantly or start making out while we are all on the floor doing breathing exercises. I just really hate PDA, especially in a damn prepared childbirth class. Everyone in there is at least 30 weeks pregnant. Jay said he felt like we were about to be in some kind of weird pregnant lady orgy at one point. I just close my eyes and tell myself..this will be over soon (I think I will be doing that a lot very soon). As much as I hate it, multiply by 10 and that's how much Jay hates it.
We went on a tour of the hospital, it's really nice but I have nothing to compare it to so who knows if where it compares to others. They have the highest level NICU you can have, so that makes me feel better in case something happens.
We also took an Infant/Child CPR class one night and I feel MUCH better about that but also think I might be bad in a high pressure situations, so I hope Jay will remember if there is a crisis.
So the countdown has begun. She will be here soon, I can quit giving myself shots, take some time away from work and we can begin our lives together.
Thursday, November 1, 2012
Officially 8 months
Doctor's Appointment Today:
Baby Hawk weighs 5 lbs now. He said she's in the 76th percentile. At this rate, I'm not sure I'll even make it to December 18th! I only gained 1 pound back from the 3 I lost last week.
They did an ultrasound this week. He said she scores an 8 out of 8 on all of the vitals so I guess that's good but she's a big baby. He looks at all my numbers and said that he thought I was doing really good with the blood sugar except for some sporadic reads. He went back and forth with himself on whether or not he was going to put me on insulin. He said it was only going to get worse as we got closer and she got bigger and then he said we'd wait another week. AND THEN he measured my stomach. I grew 5 cms in 1 week, which he says is a lot. Once he saw that he decided to go ahead and do it. So tomorrow morning I have to go back in so they can show me how to give myself shots :( He's putting me on the lowest dose possible because he said he's actually worried about it getting too low because my numbers are actually pretty good. We will see what happens. I guess I need to get some candy to carry around in my purse in case in drops too low.
The ultrasound tech remembered me from the 4D ultrasound and gave me two more 4D pics today because she didn't have her hands in her face as much. I thought that was SUPER nice. All I have are the black and white photos and I can't figure out how to get them to the computer. One is of face where she is looking down and another of her when she yawned. There is some kind of weird thing looking like it's protruding from her cheek, but I'm sure it was something floating around, but of course I'm completely obsessed with it and now think my baby has a weird growth on her cheek. I'm sure the tech would have said something if she thought it was out of the ordinary. Her cheeks have gotten fat. I think she might have gained the whole pound in her cheeks.
She's still in the breech position. They said that they really like for them to turn by 34 weeks. I was thinking well that is something that is completely out of my control. She's going to have to decide to do that on her own. Good to know that she has her father's procrastination tendencies though.
That's all I know right now. Work is letting me pretty much do what I want, which is nice of them. I'm trying not to take advantage though.
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